Don't forget what the bigots did.

What an amazing week!

Watching gay couples get married in Oklahoma, Virginia, West Virginia, Nevada. Legal marriage is now in a majority of the states. I wept as I watched couples who had been together 20, 30 years finally being allowed to legally marry.

Of course many are not happy. As I write, the state of South Carolina is doing everything they can to not allow gays to marry.

And as hundreds of couples marry around the country, I ask each of you to not forget.

Please don't forget the bigots and the religious extremists. Please don't forget those who used every waking breathe to keep marriage from us.

Please don't forget those who had the power to simply say yes, or vote yes, and instead said or voted no.

Please don't forget those who demonized us, and continue to demonize us.

Which brings me to my point.

Many of these same people are running for election or re-election across the country. Some of them want people to forget their horrible words and votes against gays and lesbians. Some of them think they will get more votes by demonizing us.

Don't let them do it. Don't let them win.

We have the power. It's called the vote.

Vote. Make sure they know we haven't forgotten. Make sure we speak with a loud voice.

Thank you for reading!

Chipping away at bigotry

Tony London and Tim Bostic check their marriage license out. Photo from the Virginian Pilot.

You might have heard about a US Supreme Court decision this morning. The Court decided not hear gay marriage cases, which means marriage equality has now come to a handful of additional states and perhaps even more. Before the news had gotten around, couple were getting ready to get married in Virginia. By the time I had a chance to get to my blog site, many couples had married in Virginia and even in Colorado, which has been indirectly affected by the ruling as we are one of the states that is part of the US Court of Appeals for the 10th District, which lifted its stay on marriages right after the ruling.

Whew! I apologize for the run-on sentence. This is an incredible day to me. It has honestly been difficult to not shed tears. Of joy, of course.

Finally.

This morning Colorado's Attorney General told all 64 county clerks to get ready to issue licenses. As of right now, two counties have begun. They decided not to wait.

All of the marriages that occurred in Utah last year but then held up until a Supreme Court ruling are now legal.

The plaintiffs in the Virginia case married in Norfolk just a couple of hours ago. They were the first to marry in Norfolk, my home town.

I am ecstatic.

Yet marriage equality is not law in every state. This was not a ruling making equality the law of the land. Many still cannot marry. Yet.

So please keep speaking out for marriage equality. Please keep fighting against bigotry, in any and every form.

Those who hate gay people and those who are against marriage equality won't stop fighting. Nor can we.

With elections coming up it is especially important to vote for candidates who support equal right and equal marriage. Vote!

Now it's time to go celebrate with Mike.

Thanks for reading.

The pain of bigotry

 
It happened this week.

A same-sex marriage was recognized in Arizona.

In the form of a death certificate.

Of course the state of Arizona needed a little nudging from a federal judge.

I can only imagine what Fred McQuire was feeling as he picked up the accurate death certificate recognizing his marriage to his late husband, George Martinez.

Fred and George had been together 45 years.

What's all the fuss in denying couples marriage? What's the hurry? We should wait and think this through and see what the real harm will be?

The reason this was important, aside from being the right and just thing, was that now Fred can receive Social Security benefits and veteran benefits.

Bigotry continues to inflict pain on couples all over the U.S.

The U.S. Supreme Court has said that they will look at some state marriage equality decisions this month.

Meanwhile, many couple, like Mike and I, just wait. Although our marriage is legal in many states, it is not legal where we live.

So we will keep fighting. We will keep demanding equal marriage, and I personally will call attention to those in political power who continually fight against marriage equality.

Thanks for reading. 

Legal marriage: February 14, 2014

I had always hoped the day would come when Mike and I would legally be married.

On April 30, 2005 we got married here in Denver at our church with 160 friends and family joining us. We called it a "loving act of civil disobedience" which in the eyes of the government of Colorado and the US government is what it was. To me it was the best day of my life, marrying the love of my life, my best friend, and committing to him all that I am, good and bad. It is a day that I think of every day and will think of for the rest of my life.

Last year, marriage equality became the law of the land in many more states as well as the reality regarding federal recognition for couples married in those states. Mike and I began to talk about getting legally married. While in San Diego this summer, we decided that that was where we wanted to marry, specifically at Torrey Pines State Beach on the cliffs overlooking the Pacific.

We chatted with our amazing friends Jim and Lisa about it (they live there) and after some planning decided on February 14th as the date, with our friend Jim doing the honors. Mike and I will drive to San Diego from Lakewood on the 12th, get our marriage license on the 13th (also my birthday) and then get legal on the 14th!

I am so excited!

Although it will only be Mike, myself, Jim, Lisa and their two children, we intend to invite family and friends to think of us, to join us with their loving thoughts, at the time of the service. We have had the big wedding and this will be a quiet, loving ceremony, one that will end with Jim signing our marriage license! Just thinking about it is bringing tears to my eyes!

Our marriage will not be recognized in Colorado. We can get a civil union here if we want. We haven't decided on that yet.

The day after we'll head to Los Angeles for a celebration dinner with some friends, and then home.

We haven't set the time yet, but when we do I'll let you know. We would love, and be honored, to have you thinking of us when this happens.

Thanks for reading. And thanks for your constant kindness, love and support!

Legal marriage in Michigan this week?

I grew up in Michigan.

I don't talk a lot about that. Since I left Michigan six days after graduating from high school I don't even mention it when I talk about where I am from. I usually mention Norfolk.

Most of my memories around growing up in Michigan are about my high school years, years which the word difficult would be an understatement in describing. High school for me felt more like a prison sentence, a long, tortuous prison sentence. Much of this was because I knew I was gay and also knew that I couldn't tell anyone. Holding secrets is no fun.

I can even remember back to junior high school and my first crushes. No, I had no interest in going to the dance with her. I wanted to go with him.

All of my family still lives in Michigan. My parents, brothers (including my brother who hasn't spoken to me since I came out in 1990) as well as a bunch of aunts, uncles and cousins. Thanks to Facebook, I am also in touch with the very few people I felt safe with during high school, and I actually love that.

So when I start hearing about this big marriage case being heard in Detroit on October 16th, I must admit that I get excited.

I honestly don't know much about the case. But when I read this, from the county where I lived and spent my high school years, I was ecstatic and almost had tears in my eyes:

"Midland County will be issuing marriage licenses as soon as the ruling comes down."

Holy cow.

Of course bigotry is everywhere and I have read about all of the groups writing notes against any type of ruling that would support marriage equality.

All of that aside, I feel like mariage equality could actually become a reality in Michigan.

And I am grinning from ear to ear.

Thanks for reading.

"Midland County will be issuing marriage license to same sex couples as soon as the ruling comes down. In addition the Michigan Department of Public Health is working on a marriage application and license that is to be ready by October 16th." - See more at: http://www.equalitymi.org/marriage/county/Midland#sthash.8yBETsqf.dpuf

"Midland County will be issuing marriage license to same sex couples as soon as the ruling comes down. In addition the Michigan Department of Public Health is working on a marriage application and license that is to be ready by October 16th." - See more at: http://www.equalitymi.org/marriage/county/Midland#sthash.8yBETsqf.dpuf

"Midland County will be issuing marriage license to same sex couples as soon as the ruling comes down. In addition the Michigan Department of Public Health is working on a marriage application and license that is to be ready by October 16th." - See more at: http://www.equalitymi.org/marriage/county/Midland#sthash.8yBETsqf.dpuf

When do I get to vote on your marriage?

I saw this on a sign at a pro-marriage equality rally a few years ago.

This was before the recent swing in voter-approved marriage equality bills across the country. The sign gave me pause. I loved the question.

With the US Supreme getting very close to announcing their decision (it will come today) marriage equality is once again in the headlines.

Millions of people across the country in a majority of states have gone to the polls and cast a vote against marriage equality. To them, marriage should only be between a man and a woman. These people, and those who bring legislation like this up for a vote, believe that their beliefs trump anyone else's beliefs no matter what.

When do I get to vote on their marriage? I'd be delighted to. Oh, this is your third marriage? Sorry, I vote no. Oh, you hit your wife? Sorry, I vote no? Oh, you don't believe the same way politically I do, on every level? Sorry, I vote no.

I have never wanted to use curse words or obscene words in a blog post. I get the closest when I think about or write about people who believe that their beliefs trump mine. I'm OK if you believe this way. Just don't even think of trying to force me or anyone else to believe that way.

Yet many people do. This is why Mike and I can get a civil union in Colorado instead of a marriage. Colorado voters approved a state constitutional ban on marriage equality. Yes, it's in our constitution. This is why so many were thrilled with civil unions becoming legal this year because the marriage battle has to start with getting something out of the constitution which is a huge deal.

People are still voting on my marriage. And tens of thousands like ours. Fortunately bigotry is losing these days. People went to the polls in Maryland and Maine and voted for marriage equality. In states like Minnesota, state legislators voted for marriage equality, even some Republican state legislators.

This is all wonderful news. And I still look forward to the day when nobody has the right or option to vote on my marriage.

Thank you for reading.

Our 8th wedding anniversary

Mike and I at our family pre-wedding party two nights before the big day.

 
I wanted to let all of our readers and supporters of our blog know that today, April 30th, Mike and I are celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary. We were so fortunate to be married in a ceremony we called "a loving act of civil disobedience" with 160 friends and family joining us. I get tears in my eyes just thinking about it.

I am completely in love with Mike and every day am grateful that he is my husband and that we are a family.

A cool thing about this anniversary is that we will be celebrating with hundreds of gay and lesbian couples tonight as we count down the hours until civil unions become legal at midnight. We will be eating and dancing at One Colorado's party, then at midnight watch as couples go to city hall to get their civil union.

We have decided to wait to become civil unioned for a day when some of our family can join us.

Civil unions are not marriages. Yet for us in Colorado, they will be the first legal recognition of same-sex couples. The next step is to overturn the state constitutional ban against same-sex marriage and then, after that battle, fight for full marriage equality.

Meanwhile, Mike and I act as if we were legally married. We work at our marriage and remind each other how important he is. We both try to be a voice for the voiceless and we try to show love to all others.

One of the many reasons we love our blog and the community we have built with it is that we have gotten to meet so many amazing people, including other gay, vegan couples. We are SO grateful for all the kindness, love and support.

One day marriage equality will be a reality. Until that day, please stick with us to fight the good fight. It will be wonderful when we can finish this fight and put even more energy to the education around animal cruelty and animal rights and strengthen our voices for those killed, tortured and living in fear just to become dinner.

Thanks y'all!

With a huge amount of love,

Dan and Mike

Our honeymoon; back-country trip at Yellowstone National Park.

Thank you! One step forward with civil unions

I wanted to jump, scream and shout all at once.

But I couldn't. No one could. To the legislators voting for or against a step towards equality it was business. There was another bill to vote on right after. So the Speaker of the House politely asked everyone in the chamber to be quiet.

All of the emotion hit me as I walked back to work. This is not marriage. It was still a step for us, a pretty big step. And walking out of a building where one year ago I cried as bigotry won out once again, I cried as I thought of the love of my life and the fact that a civil union would do just fine for now. For now.

And bigotry lost today. It lost big time. I don't think for a second that there are not still bigots out there. I just think that the tide is turning.

The purpose of this blog post is to thank all of you who voiced your opinion during this many year process. Thank you for taking the time to speak out for Mike and I and the thousands of other gay and lesbian couples in Colorado. Thanks for the call and thanks for the email. Thanks for proving my point that in the end, love will always prevail over hate.

I have heard a lot of bs over the years in regards to anything around equality for gay people. This year during the debate for civil unions was not different. It's hard to take anyone seriously, let alone religious extremists, who slam a bill for not having religious exemptions when the same bill they slammed last year did have exemptions. Blows my mind. And they have the frickin' nerve to talk about freedom!

If you have read my blog or know anything about me you know that for me this is just a step. I want nothing short of full marriage equality. I'm not going to stop until that day. I hope all of you will continue this journey with Mike and I, as your support means so much.

We are so incredibly grateful for all of you. We totally are.

The Governor will sign this bill later in the week. On May 1st civil unions will begin. The day before that is our 8th wedding anniversary so it looks like that weekend will be busy for us!

Sending love to all of you.

Thank you for reading!

A new day - The 2012 Election

Mike and I were surrounded by friends, enjoying vegan tamales (with vegan mole!) and sangria at our election night party when we heard that Ohio had gone for the President and news organizations began calling the Presidential election for President Obama.

I was ecstatic.

And I still am. As we continued to watch the results that night and then also the next morning, it became clear that, based on our opinions, election night had produced some wonderful results:

President Barack Obama was re-elected. This was huge for us based on equality, women's rights, veteran care and the economy. It is great having a President who supports our marriage.

The Colorado State House became Democratic again. As of right now it is 38 to 27. What this means is that we are likely to have our first openly gay Speaker of the House in Colorado and any civil unions bill presented is sure to pass. The Republican house leadership has stopped it for a couple of years, even though there were enough votes for it to pass if it got to a floor vote.

Tammy Baldwin became the first openly gay member of the US Senate, representing Wisconsin. I take issue with her past support of the Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act and how that has affected animal activists, yet I am still happy for her. 

Gay marriage passed in Maine and Maryland. This means these states actually voted on whether to legalize gay marriage, and they both said YES! In Washington state, voters approved marriage equality as well, supporting a law signed by the governor earlier in the year.

An anti-gay amendment to the Minnesota constitution was defeated.

Our US Congressman, Ed Perlmutter, and our State Rep, Max Tyler, were both re-elected.

Amendment 64, which legalizes the possession of up to one ounce of marijuana in Colorado, passed. Even though political "leaders" were all against this, it passed. I am happy just for that, but also because I believe marijuana should be legalized (and the sale of it taxed). Too many people around the world die because of drugs being illegal.

In our county, Jefferson County, voters approved 3A and 3B which will raise tax revenues for our public schools.

Tea party scum in Indiana and Missouri were soundly defeated. I'm sure elsewhere too. It was a good night for religious extremists in this country.

Lots and lots of people voted. They waited forever in line to vote. They disputed being told they could not vote. They made sure their voice was going to be heard.

What was your favorite result of the election?

Before I close, I want to say thank you to our blog readers for putting up with our blogs written about the election. This election was just too important not to write about, or not to share who we supported and why. I'm sure it wasn't fun for all of our readers, but thanks for sticking with us and especially thanks for supporting us.

And thank you for reading this post!