Three years of The Gay Vegans blog

It was June 16, 2011, my first blog post for The Gay Vegans.

I wanted to create a blog separate from the one I did for my work as a fundraiser, and The Gay Vegans was born.

As it says on the main page, this blog was created to build bridges amongst communities, to be a voice for the voiceless and to share our experiences being gay and vegan in the burbs.

The blog has become so much than that, thanks to those who have found it interesting, who read it regularly and who take action when we ask our readers to do something that we think will make the world a better place for all living beings.

Thank you so much!

I love corresponding with folks who write me about a blog post or folks who are considering going vegan. I love hearing back from people who registered to vote for the first time or who came out to an elected official, whether the coming out was about their sexuality of the fact that they are vegan and wanted to elected official to know.

Most of all, I love the hundreds of stories that have been shared with me about the actions of one person who decided that they wanted to make a difference, and they did!

I am sending thanks to everyone who has ever read a blog post and to all of you out there who have supported The Gay Vegans. I am super stoked when I think of what more I can do with this blog, and how much more fun all of us can have as we become a stronger voice for the voiceless and continue making this world a better, safer place for all living beings.

Let's do it!

Thanks for reading!

Headed to Salt Lake City

Mike and I start our summer vacation next week. Although our destination is San Diego (no surprise) we are making several stops on the way. After an evening enjoying the hot springs at Glenwood Springs, we head to Salt Lake City.

Why on earth would two gay vegans go to Salt Lake City?

I used to think the same thing. Then I went there about ten years ago for an Amnesty International conference. Loved it.

It's a pretty progressive city.

And way vegan friendly.

We are so excited. This will be Mike's first time. And in the last ten years I think the vegan scene has exploded. Plus, Utah's marriage ban was ruled unconstitutional and although wedding were stopped for the time being I know it is just a matter of time until marriage equality becomes the law of the land.

Have you been to Salt Lake City lately? Or do you live there?

We'd love to hear from you. Only one night so basically dinner and breakfast. We'll be staying at the Hotel Monaco which is downtown.

We love road trips. And we're so excited about this one coming up.

Thanks for reading! We'll keep you posted on any incredible finds during the trip!

Do not be afraid - of the kitchen!

"Veganomicon" is a great cookbook to help you get comfortable in the kitchen.

If where if you live is anything like the Denver metro area, restaurants are serving more and more delicious vegan items. Mike and I love going out, and as I have written in several posts, we have our favorites for sure. (Note to reader: you can check out our favorite local places to eat by clicking the tab from the main page.)

Although vegan food options are becoming even more amazing in restaurants, I still believe that the best vegan food can come right from the kitchen.

Your kitchen.

I know, I'm sure some of you are like I used to be and are probably rolling your eyes. Many years ago the normal dinner at my place was a couple of Amy's burritos and tater tots. When a met Mike, that type f meal became known as a Dan meal.

Once in a while we decide on a Dan meal for dinner. Life is busy. We both give it our all at our jobs so when we come home a Dans' meal is an easy choice. But for me, things have certainly changed in the kitchen.

I am no longer afraid.

You don't have to be either.

Here's an example. Back in January of last year during the time I was laid off, I decided to use that time and make delicious dinners for Mike. One day I found this amazing recipe for African Peanut Stew. It looked complicated, but I wanted to give it a go. So I jumped in. I went to the market and got the ingredients, came home and read the recipe a couple of times, and then started to create. With my favorite Latino music playing and the dogs eagerly waiting in the kitchen, I rocked it.

Of course the test is if other people like it, and Mike loved it. Such an amazing dish.

There are so many vegan cookbooks out there that I have to believe there is one just for you. Check them out. And some of the links on our main page will lead you to some great recipes. Also, many cookbooks have introductions before the recipes to let you know what you will need to have great experiences with their recipes.

You don't have to be afraid of the kitchen anymore! You can create delicious vegan meals right in your own kitchen!

So grab a vegan cookbook, throw an apron on, and rock it! Oh, and then tell me what you made!

Thanks for reading!

Legal marriage: February 14, 2014

I had always hoped the day would come when Mike and I would legally be married.

On April 30, 2005 we got married here in Denver at our church with 160 friends and family joining us. We called it a "loving act of civil disobedience" which in the eyes of the government of Colorado and the US government is what it was. To me it was the best day of my life, marrying the love of my life, my best friend, and committing to him all that I am, good and bad. It is a day that I think of every day and will think of for the rest of my life.

Last year, marriage equality became the law of the land in many more states as well as the reality regarding federal recognition for couples married in those states. Mike and I began to talk about getting legally married. While in San Diego this summer, we decided that that was where we wanted to marry, specifically at Torrey Pines State Beach on the cliffs overlooking the Pacific.

We chatted with our amazing friends Jim and Lisa about it (they live there) and after some planning decided on February 14th as the date, with our friend Jim doing the honors. Mike and I will drive to San Diego from Lakewood on the 12th, get our marriage license on the 13th (also my birthday) and then get legal on the 14th!

I am so excited!

Although it will only be Mike, myself, Jim, Lisa and their two children, we intend to invite family and friends to think of us, to join us with their loving thoughts, at the time of the service. We have had the big wedding and this will be a quiet, loving ceremony, one that will end with Jim signing our marriage license! Just thinking about it is bringing tears to my eyes!

Our marriage will not be recognized in Colorado. We can get a civil union here if we want. We haven't decided on that yet.

The day after we'll head to Los Angeles for a celebration dinner with some friends, and then home.

We haven't set the time yet, but when we do I'll let you know. We would love, and be honored, to have you thinking of us when this happens.

Thanks for reading. And thanks for your constant kindness, love and support!

Forgiveness

I have been thinking of this as a topic for a post for a while now.

In my personal life I have had to ask for forgiveness many times.

I have also had to forgive.

In a world that sometimes feels completely filled with hatred and unkindness, with violence, judgement and just plain meanness, being able to forgive or ask for forgiveness can be huge.

I often write about one of my main purposes with this blog: to make this world a better, safer pace for all living beings. That is more difficult to do if I am filled with negativity towards someone, or is I have treated someone in a manner that was unkind in any way.

In a past blog post, one about being kind, I wrote "We do not need to meet hate with hate or unkindness with unkindness." I truly believe this. Just because someone is unkind to me doesn't mean I need to be unkind to them.

Easy? Not really.

Worth it? Totally.

Several years ago I planned a veg fest here in Denver called the Denver Veg Fest. My first event of this type and I had a blast. The great thing was to see a diverse crowd of people, a couple of thousand plus, all there to learn a little about veganism and animal rights (and to try some great vegan food!). Successful in many ways, mainly in that I felt we had created something that was a loud voice for the animals.

In the end, it also became an amazing fundraiser, with me being able to donate thousands of dollars to local and national animal groups.

When I decided to not plan another veg fest, I began to hear that some people were saying, behind my back, that I had "stolen" money from the fest. The fest was my deal, and there were a handful of folks who helped with it who also had a say in the money we raised and where it should be donated.  The people saying negative things about me personally had nothing to do with the all of the hard work it took to put on the fest. I was completely caught off guard by this. The whole idea of what was being said was incredibly hurtful to me. Words definitely hurt.

It took me awhile, but I had to forgive. It was not going to do me or the voiceless I try to be a voice for every day any good if I allowed myself to hold onto anything negative about these folks. All I could do is simply put out there what I did and why, which I did, and then let it go.

And of course there have been many times when I have had to apologize and ask for forgiveness. I try my best to make those times as few as possible.

With so much suffering in the world, with so much hatred, there is just no reason to use our energy in holding onto grudges or being mean to others.

Forgive. Let go. Move on. Build a bridge and get over it.

Then get busy. The animals need you. The poor need you. The activists in prison need. The voiceless need you.

Thanks for reading!

Wishing you an amazing New Year

What a year!

I'm sitting here at home thinking about how amazing this year has been for us, for equality, and for veganism.

Some of my personal highlights were vacationing at the beach in Encinitas with my beloved and joining a bunch of vegan bloggers at Vida Vegan Con in Portland, Oregon.

Encinitas is a little slice of heaven just north of San Diego. We rented a little studio on the beach and spent most of our time right there on the beach. Perfect. Add in wonderful friends, delish vegan food and a side trip to Los Angeles and it made for the perfect summer vacation.

At Vida Vegan Con I had the honor of meeting so many people who are changing the world. I left the conference feeling inspired and hopeful for a future that includes more people being a voice for the voiceless and amazing vegan food choices along the way.

Marriage equality spread throughout this wonderful country of ours.

Bigotry persisted.

Ag-gag bills, ones in which it would make it illegal to do undercover animal cruelty investigations, didn't make it to law.

Vegan cuisine became more and more talked about. In Denver, we even got our first vegan market, Nooch, as well as our first vegan restaurant, Native Foods.

This blog, The Gay Vegans, hosted our first non-profit fundraiser and we raised just over 3,600 pounds of dog and cat food for Animal Haus, a local non-profit that gives the food to people who are hurting financially and need a little help in supporting their companion animals. What a wonderful time that was, and it became so successful with the participation of so many of you!

I could go on, and I might in another post, but I don't like my posts to get too long.

Mike and I wish you the most amazing 2014, a year filled with love, joy, activism, compassion and passion. Let's all work together to be a voice for the voiceless and to make this world a better, safer place for all living beings!

Thanks for reading!

We all have more in common than not

One of the things I try to promote with The Gay Vegans blog is that in my opinion, we all have mroe in common than not.

What I really mean with this statement is that I might disagree with you on one point, and another, and another. Yet it in the big picture of life, what we do not agree on or what we do not have in common is pretty small compared to everything that we agree on or have in common.

Why does this matter?

I usually start with 9 billion.

That is the number I use that represents the amount of animals being killed for food in the US alone in one year. It does not include animals in labs, in circuses, in "fashion". I also don't think it includes living beings killed in our oceans or jailed in places like Sea World.

It's a big number. Each living being being forced to live in fear, live with torture and pain and cruelty.

I am vegan because I want to do the least amount of harm as possible during my time on earth.

So with the statement about what we have in common, I also mean that in order to be a voice and to make change, we need to set differences aside and focus on the 9 billion.

Or on HIV/AIDS.

Or on poverty, marriage equality, homelessness, fill in the blank.

Why spend one ounce of energy focusing on a difference, on a disagreement, when we know that energy takes away from us being a voice for the voiceless or making the world a better place for all living beings.

It's not easy. In fact, it can be outright difficult. But it can be done. It has to be done.

Thanks for reading!

Hate comes to The Gay Vegans

When you have a blog called The Gay Vegans you have to expect that not everyone is going to dig you. I get it all of the time. The gay part, the vegan part, the not vegan enough part, the smack from folks in different communities who just don't agree with something I have written about.

I'm used to all of that. And in many cases have had great conversations with people who I disagree with.

This morning I woke up to a nice serving of hate on our Facebook page. This is the stuff I don't like. As you know, we're in the middle of a two week dog and cat food drive for Animal Haus so we (us and our readers) can support those who are having tough financial times and need a little help with food for their companion animal.

I decided to use Facebook ads for the first time and had great success. The Gay Vegans blog was introduced to many people and we got donations from people we had never met.

Apparently our ad ended up on someones page who does not like gay people. He decided to post on our blog's Facebook page: "Keep your fag SHIT to yourself". He wrote more, in  acouple of places on our page, but no need to go into that. I was stunned. I mean we all have to look at Facebook ads that we wish we didn't have to. This dude took it to another level.

I was suddenly facing a reality that I had honestly forgotten about. We have a ton of readers and we get so much love, respect and kindness form them. We also get disagreement. But we don't get a lot of hate. Every once in a while we do, and it takes me aback.

I went to this gentleman's Facebook page and his first post was a photo that said something about hoping to be able to bless someone today.

I hope he's able to do that too.

Hate is a terrible thing. I write about it often. Only we have the power to stop it.

Thank you to all of you who have supported this blog. And more thanks to all of our readers who have donated to the dog and cat food drive!

And remember that you do not need to live in Denver to support the drive. You can make an online donation to Animal Haus at animalhaus.org . No donation is too small!

Thanks for reading!

The ugliness of hate

It was October of 1998 when I saw hate close to my community. It wasn't the first or last time, but was intense and horrifying. A couple of months after moving from Norfolk, VA to Denver, a young, gay college student named Matthew Shepard was beaten to death in Laramie, WY, a 2 1/2 hour drive from my cozy, safe apartment within a gay-friendly neighborhood in Denver.

I was shocked as the details of the beating of Matthew became public. Then a couple of days later he died in a hospital in Fort Collins.

To be fair, there is a new book about Matthew's murder that has just been published. I haven't read it. Apparently it's about Matthew's beating and murder not being about his sexuality.

From everything I had heard and read before I will find that difficult to believe. I'll let you know if I end up reading the book.

A year before I moved to Denver an African immigrant named Oumar Dia from Senegal had left the Hyatt (which is where I worked when arriving in Denver) and was waiting for a bus home. This was right across the street from the hotel. He was shot to death by a white supremacist who said to him "Are you ready to die for being a nigger?".

I had personally experienced hate and hate-inspired violence before. Oh, and hate speech. Fag, faggot, fucking faggot, fairy were words that had been yelled at to me in my past. Once I was out of the closet I was out. No more going back in regardless of how uncomfortable that made people feel.

One is not born with hate. One is taught hate. Whether it's hatred towards gay folk, women, people of color, immigrants... the list could go on and on.

I believe that hatred and hate-filled acts happen because someone did not say something. No one spoke up to say hey, your way of thinking is messed up. Someone laughed at a joke that wasn't funny. Someone used a disparaging word just to feel comfortable with others or to look "cool".

Hate is present in every community. You don't have to accept it or allow it.

Each of us has the power to stop it.

Thanks for reading!

Caring for a senior companion animal

Note: This is another one of those very personal posts.

Mike and I returned home from vacation to our senior companion animal Rock, a 16 1/2 year old Yorkie who in the time we were gone went from being old and not in great shape to being old and in bad shape and not being able to walk.

We all get to this point. Some more often than others. Mike and I certainly have been here before.

As Rock has gotten older he has lost a good portion of his sight and a lot of his hearing (although his hearing always returns when there is food or a treat involved!). He doesn't like going outside to pee as it's a long walk for an old dog with short legs, so he gets out of bed and pees in the hallway or the living room or the kitchen. He can't jump up on anything and gets uncomfortable easy. He never sleeps through the night and one or both of us are up two to three times during the night to take him out and love on him.

It can be exhausting. And we would do so much more.

His attitude and personality and appetite are all at 100%.

His back and legs are not. Upon return from vacation we took him to the vet and began the conversation around what we can do, and more distressingly for us, when nothing else can be done. After a long exam with our trusted vet and some x-rays, we decided to change the meds Rock is on and to invite another vet who does acupuncture and laser treatment for dogs and cats in a similar condition to our home. Yes, she does house visits!

More importantly, and very difficult for us but so critical for Rock, we decided that if the med change and acupuncture did not work within a week or so, and that Rock could still not walk or get up on his own, that we would do what we believe would be best for Rock and have him euthanized.

The emotions in just writing about this are huge and uncomfortable and in a sense tragic. Rock has been part of Mike's life for over 16 years and part of mine for almost 10. He is our family. He is my little schmeagle beagle.

The day after the vet visit and the change in meds the vet who does acupuncture and laser treatment came over. The treatments lasted an hour. She really impressed Mike and the treatments seemed to help Rock right away, at least in making him more comfortable in his own body.

Two days later Rock has been able to stand outside to do his thing, and has walked from the kitchen to the living room to the bedroom. He is definitely showing signs of being in less pain, and we are cautiously optimistic. Not for ten more years with him, but a life with him that is one day at a time and includes him being in little or no pain with the ability to walk and go to the bathroom on his own.

Thank you so much for reading this post. I will keep you all updated as we continue this process.

Two years of The Gay Vegans

My how time flies.

In June of 2011 Mike and I were headed to Florida to go visit his mom. I had posted a little something about that on my fundraising blog. Then I decided that I didn't want to get personal on that blog so maybe I should create a blog where I could be totally personal. The Gay Vegans blog was born.

In the past two years this blog has become a huge part of my life. I have been able to share the ups and downs of my personal life, my activism, my politics, my goal to be a voice for the voiceless and my struggles.

Since June of 2011 there have been just over 77,000 visits to The Gay Vegans. That number blows me away. I know that there are sites and probably blogs that get that many reads in a day or a week, and for me it's huge to think that that many people take a minute or ten out of their lives to connect and read my latest post.

Here is a brief synopsis of the last two years:

We are a gay, married (not legally, yet) couple in Lakewood, Colorado. That's a west suburb of Denver. And we vote.

Being a voice for the voiceless can include many things: getting to know your state representative; writing to a letter to someone in power over a situation you support or don't support; boycotting an organization; making a donation; practicing a random act of kindness; going to a protest; speaking out.

We love to eat. We have our favorite places to eat and we engage restaurant owners in creating amazing vegan dishes.

We encourage building bridges amongst communities that may disagree on things.

We constantly speak out against hate, against religious extremism and against violence, even amongst those in our gay, vegan and animal rights communities.

We try to promote engagement, civil discourse and just basic conversation under the premise that we all have more in common than not.

Did I say we love to eat! We also love getting to know restaurant owners and supporting them in adding delicious vegan options.

Lastly, we use the blog to promote those rocking it in our world, products we love, people we love and restaurants we love.

It's been an amazing two years. We are grateful to all of you who have supported us and our calls to action!

Thanks for reading!