Chipping away at bigotry

Tony London and Tim Bostic check their marriage license out. Photo from the Virginian Pilot.

You might have heard about a US Supreme Court decision this morning. The Court decided not hear gay marriage cases, which means marriage equality has now come to a handful of additional states and perhaps even more. Before the news had gotten around, couple were getting ready to get married in Virginia. By the time I had a chance to get to my blog site, many couples had married in Virginia and even in Colorado, which has been indirectly affected by the ruling as we are one of the states that is part of the US Court of Appeals for the 10th District, which lifted its stay on marriages right after the ruling.

Whew! I apologize for the run-on sentence. This is an incredible day to me. It has honestly been difficult to not shed tears. Of joy, of course.

Finally.

This morning Colorado's Attorney General told all 64 county clerks to get ready to issue licenses. As of right now, two counties have begun. They decided not to wait.

All of the marriages that occurred in Utah last year but then held up until a Supreme Court ruling are now legal.

The plaintiffs in the Virginia case married in Norfolk just a couple of hours ago. They were the first to marry in Norfolk, my home town.

I am ecstatic.

Yet marriage equality is not law in every state. This was not a ruling making equality the law of the land. Many still cannot marry. Yet.

So please keep speaking out for marriage equality. Please keep fighting against bigotry, in any and every form.

Those who hate gay people and those who are against marriage equality won't stop fighting. Nor can we.

With elections coming up it is especially important to vote for candidates who support equal right and equal marriage. Vote!

Now it's time to go celebrate with Mike.

Thanks for reading.

Closer to marriage equality

A divided US Supreme Court made public two decisions yesterday that will change our lives. Me and Mike's lives. And the lives of tens of thousands of other gay couples who are either already married or wish to be married.

In Colorado, where we live, there is a state constitutional amendment that defines government endorsed marriage as between a man and a woman. Recently civil unions became legal which offers Mike and I some state benefits.

We were married back in 2005. We did what many folks do: asked our pastor to marry us, he said yes, and then we joined 160 friends and family and got married.

We called our marriage ceremony "a loving act of civil disobedience". Mainly because that amazing ceremony was not legal in any way.

We have held off getting a civil union. With the news from yesterday we are talking about getting legally married in California, probably not in July when we go for our summer vacation but maybe later in the year. We are still trying to figure out if getting married there will mean that we can still be federally recognized in Colorado.

So we would be legally married in the eyes of the feds and would still have to get a civil union for any Colorado recognition.

Meanwhile, I am getting ready for work, my allergies are bothering me, Mike is fighting off bugs ravaging the garden, Rock our 17-year old Yorkie is whining about God knows what and we both are looking forward to the weekend.

Our lives and our marriage go on.

We will keep you posted on what we decide to do.

And whether this is your first time on our blog or you have been reading and supporting us for the whole time, it's important for us that you now how grateful we are to you. There is a lot of hatred in the world, and we are so fortunate to have so much loving support.

In the days to come, there will be a lot of hate speech against the Supreme Court decision and against gay people in general. Please join us in continuing to speak out for marriage equality and against hate.

Thank you for reading!

When do I get to vote on your marriage?

I saw this on a sign at a pro-marriage equality rally a few years ago.

This was before the recent swing in voter-approved marriage equality bills across the country. The sign gave me pause. I loved the question.

With the US Supreme getting very close to announcing their decision (it will come today) marriage equality is once again in the headlines.

Millions of people across the country in a majority of states have gone to the polls and cast a vote against marriage equality. To them, marriage should only be between a man and a woman. These people, and those who bring legislation like this up for a vote, believe that their beliefs trump anyone else's beliefs no matter what.

When do I get to vote on their marriage? I'd be delighted to. Oh, this is your third marriage? Sorry, I vote no. Oh, you hit your wife? Sorry, I vote no? Oh, you don't believe the same way politically I do, on every level? Sorry, I vote no.

I have never wanted to use curse words or obscene words in a blog post. I get the closest when I think about or write about people who believe that their beliefs trump mine. I'm OK if you believe this way. Just don't even think of trying to force me or anyone else to believe that way.

Yet many people do. This is why Mike and I can get a civil union in Colorado instead of a marriage. Colorado voters approved a state constitutional ban on marriage equality. Yes, it's in our constitution. This is why so many were thrilled with civil unions becoming legal this year because the marriage battle has to start with getting something out of the constitution which is a huge deal.

People are still voting on my marriage. And tens of thousands like ours. Fortunately bigotry is losing these days. People went to the polls in Maryland and Maine and voted for marriage equality. In states like Minnesota, state legislators voted for marriage equality, even some Republican state legislators.

This is all wonderful news. And I still look forward to the day when nobody has the right or option to vote on my marriage.

Thank you for reading.