Road trip to Portland and Vida Vegan Con 2013

It had been 10 months since I purchased my registration for the 2013 Vida Vegan Con.

I decided (no surprise) that I would drive to Portland. Nineteen hours, no sweat. I was totally thrilled when Ryan Patey said he would fly into Denver and head out there with me! Ryan is the editor of T.O.F.U. Magazine and has become a great friend.

Car was packed and we set out for the road. Our goal was to try to make it to Boise, Idaho and spend the night there. A bigger goal was to make it to Boise by 7pm so we could dine at the fabulous Shangri La restaurant, a mostly vegan establishment (if not totally vegan, I honestly can't remember!).

We made it! It was so worth getting into Boise and being able to eat at Shangri La. Only about 10 minutes off of I-84, we were immediately welcomed by staff. Live music also welcomed us.  Shangri La is a wonderful vegan haven in Boise. I was surprised!

The menu had a lot of raw options and several soups. I was hoping to get a hot tofu dish, and I certainly wasn't disappointed after enjoying the mock tuna and crackers plate with a bowl of miso soup. Ryan loved hi mock tuna sandwich. Shangri La is the perfect place to be able to spend a little time after  along road trip. I highly recommend it. Oh, and a shout out to Tristan for telling me about it!

From Boise it's about a half an hour to the Oregon state line. My first time in Oregon and now I am down to six states that I haven't been to (Alaska, Hawaii, Washington, Maine, Rhode Island and New Hampshire).

The main thing that you just have to know is that the drive along the Columbia River Gorge is one of the most beautiful drives I have ever taken in the U.S. Holy Cow! I loved every mile of it. Even if you are in Portland but flew there, somehow make a trip out to this amazing drive.

 We pulled into Portland mid-afternoon on the day before Vida Vegan Con began, plenty of time to check into our hotels and I had a chance to clean up before catching a cab to the unofficial welcome reception. I will go more into food and sessions in another post but I just HAVE to tell you about the White Owl Social Club bar and restaurant in Portland. All I have to say is fried mac n cheese sandwiches! Oh my! Simply mind blowing. And of course I had to try the loaded potatoes. To go with all of this was my new favorite drink, Cock & Bull Ginger Beer. Mmmmm! For non-drinkers it's not always easy finding something different and tasty out there, and Cock & Ball was it for me!

Believe it or not, the food was not the highlight of the party. I started to meet many of the hundreds of other vegan bloggers that had come to Vida Vegan Con and I immediately knew that there were going to be many new friendships! Indeed there are!

Remember, this was just my first night in Portland. Vida Vegan Con hadn't even started. More on the conference in the next post.

Thanks for reading!

Reinvigorated hope

Many times I have written about not giving up, about keeping strong in the fight to be a voice for the voiceless and in making the world a better place for all living beings.

After a few days with vegan bloggers from around the world at Vida Vegan Con 2013 in Portland, Oregon, my hope is higher than ever!

If you read any vegan blog, most likely the blogger was at Vida Vegan Con, or really wanted to be here.

And this amazing group of bloggers who are changing the world in so many ways inspired me and filled my heart and head with hope.

I am sure that the blogosphere will be filled with stories of Portland, mind-blowing vegan food (and lots of it) food,  as well as notes from sessions that covered the entire universe of what bloggers need to know to become better bloggers.

What I want to make sure you know about is that the conference rooms were filled with sweet, compassionate people. People who take time out of their lives everyday to blog about vegan food, animal rights, nutrition, recipes, human rights and so much more.

I met people from all walks of life, from small towns and big cities. People who have been vegan for a decade plus and people who have been vegan for three weeks.

The common theme was compassion and kindness.

One of my biggest surprises was how many people here actually know our blog and even asked me "Didn't you two just celebrate an anniversary?"!  I was thrilled to know that other bloggers read our blog!

So be warned people who think vegan food sucks. Be warned all of those who make a living off of the suffering of animals. Be warned those who don't want the world to know that a better world is one filled with amazing vegan food and a thought process that does not include the torture and misery of any living being. These hundreds of bloggers are going to leave here and continue to change the world. They will never stop writing about compassion and how even the simplest of actions make significant change.

To all of those who attended Vida Vegan Con 2013, thank you for the love and kindness you expressed to meet over the past few days. You changed me. You reinvigorated my hope that we indeed are making the world a better place for all living beings.

All eyes on the Supreme Court

The lobby of History Colorado was jam packed with hundreds of supporters of the civil unions bill that Governor John Hickenlooper was about to sign into law. I became emotional as several state legislators spoke about this historic day, one which many in the lobby had worked on for years. And yet, as the state senate co-sponsor said, this is not the end of our work.

Yes, we have more to do.

I want full marriage equality. Nothing more, nothing less.

If you have read our blog before this is of no surprise to you. Mike and I were married on April 30th of 2005. It was the best day of my life.

In our eyes we are married. On May 1st of this year(midnight of our 8th wedding anniversary) we will walk over to the City and County building in downtown Denver with a bunch of others to get legally recognized as a legal civil union.

The Supreme Court is hearing two cases around equality, including one on marriage equality, this week. As I read in a New York Times  commentary yesterday, victory around marriage equality is not a matter of if, it is  a matter of when.

Full marriage equality is so close, I feel like I can taste it.

The excitement and the emotion is building up. I could definitely feel it in the lobby of History Colorado. The joy expressed could have been heard all of the way to the state capitol, several blocks away.

Is America ready? You better believe America is ready. Do 100% believe in full marriage equality? Of course not. Yet nobody has a right to vote on my marriage and hopefully the Supreme Court will agree.

Simple equality.

Thank you for reading this and thank you for all of your support.

Powerful words

We all have been there. Someone says something to us and it stings. Perhaps that was their intent, perhaps not. In this age of online communication it's difficult to figure out what someone "really meant" sometimes.

In many more cases, we can communicate face to face with individuals and have a little more power in how our conversation is received. Facial expression, hand gestures, whether we are smiling or not.

I wanted to write about the power of the spoken world because of a few conversations Mike and I have involved in, particularly in the vegan part of our community. It surprises me still that people will be on the verge of meeting us and will attempt to sum our entire existence up in a matter of minutes. We should do this. Have we thought of this? Why spend so much time on that? It's actually amazing that more often we find ourselves meeting people who really don't want to get to know us, or actually converse, yet want to immediately tell us what they think we should be doing.

I'm not sure if this is because we have this blog, because of our blog name, or because we try to be so open. The god thing is that we are not going anywhere. We are firmly and confidently rooted in the vegan community. What concerns me is how people who are just getting to know us as a community feel.

Are we a welcoming community? Or are we a judgmental community? I like to think that we are welcoming, that after all we represent the voices of the millions who cannot speak. We are their voice. Especially for those of us who are vegan for the animals.

Our blog is about building bridges, being a voice for the voiceless and spreading the message of love, compassion and equality. Those messages can easily get diluted if we spend more time talking or writing about what you should be doing than how we can all work together.

It's not always easy. The other day Mike and I just sat while someone we had just met shared their opinion. She didn't even know us!

And then there are the instances where we and our readers (I know this because of what our readers share with us) receive the wrath of people who don't want to open their minds or hearts to why we are vegan and how we believe in not wanting to harm any sentient being.

As I recently wrote to a reader, "it's important to not cross the line from being a queer vegan to becoming a queer vegan asshole while responding to hateful or disrespectful words".

Our words are powerful. In the same time frame that I am writing about I saw someone that has completely judged me for being gay. I don't want to be their best friend but I can approach them with kindness and say hi. I did. They smiled and engaged in conversation with me. They know that their judgment of gay people is unacceptable to me and that is what matters to me.

My goal is to use my spoken words to spread love, compassion and tolerance. To open minds. To be that voice for all of those sentient beings that suffer. I definitely do not want my words to harm others.

Thank you for reading. I really appreciate those who read our blog, support our blog and engage with us!

Chico the foster dog

 Mike and I have been fostering dogs from local shelters and rescue groups since we have been together. It is part of what we do to volunteer and to help dogs who might have a tough time being adopted at the shelter, especially those who have been abused, neglected or who are older.

And yes, we have had what they call a failed foster. Shadow, our beloved 18 year old cockapoo who passed away last year started out as a foster. Of course at 14, no one was seriously interested in adopting her so we did. That was one of the best decisions we ever made!

Last weekend we went to MaxFund to see if they needed any of the dogs to be fostered. A few minutes later we met Chico, an 8 year old Pekingese (mix?) who has one eye and is just the cutest. A few days later I went and picked him up and he became our latest foster dog.

He is laying on a doggie bed at my feet while I write this post. I am kind of surprised as he is filled with fear, as most of our fosters are when they arrive. But this morning he went outside and came back in without encouragement (or force!) from us and he even ate breakfast. Last night he jumped out of bed with me and instead of staying cowered under the kitchen table he jumped up on the couch and went back to sleep.

The process for a foster dog who is that frightened is a long one. And it is wonderful watching them get more and more comfortable in the home, and eventually be so comfortable that we can begin having people over who are interested in adopting them.

I have written many times about volunteering at a local shelter as part of taking small actions to make the world a better place for all living beings. Fostering an animal from your local shelter is a great thing to do that will definitely change the life of an animal who could really use your help.

Oh, and Chico needs a forever home! If you live in the Denver metro area and are interested in him please let me know!

Thank you for reading!

The Boy Scouts of America and equality

Being an openly gay man who believes in equality and fights every day for it, I have never really cared for or about the Boy Scouts. I have friends whose kids are involved in the Boy Scouts, and on that local level I think it can be great. The policies I have a problem with come from the top, the leadership of the BSA.

In some ways, I look at them as simply as an extension of the bigoted and discriminatory thought process of the Catholic and Mormon churches.

Their policy against gay men having anything to with the Boy Scouts has been hurtful to some, devastating to many more.

Before I continue please remember that I was raised Catholic and loved it. A lot of my family members and friends are Catholic, and I still believe that the work Catholic priests and nuns did in Central America in the '70s and '80s in regards to human rights was incredibly brave and part of what convinced me to be an activist. And what strengthened my faith. Social justice and human rights are still at the core for some in the Catholic church.

Back to the Boy Scouts. You might have heard that they are considering changing their policies around gay men. I haven't read all of the press reports yet but what I have read isn't that promising. This chapter over here could be safe for an openly gay man but this chapter over there, well no thank you. After years of telling chapters across the country who they can or cannot allow in, they suddenly feel that telling chapters who they can allow in is wrong. Seriously?

Yes, seriously.

On the other gender side of this you have the Girl Scouts. No policy against openly lesbian women participating on any level and they are thriving. By the way, I need to buy some Girl Scout cookies! Mike just told me that there are two vegan options this year. Those of you who know a girl scout, send them my way!

Bigotry is ugly. It harms more people than we know, and on more levels than we can even comprehend. And the biggest problem that I have with it is that is is absolutely unnecessary.

Bigotry is unnecessary.

We don't have to like everything about a person to honor their humanness. To respect them. To realize that they have the right to exist and to live in a world free of hatred or violence, whatever form that violence takes.

The Boy Scouts of America still don't get it.

Thank you for reading.

Living in exile

I used to think that only gay people had to deal with this based on my personal experiences. Of course that has never been true.

The Christmas before I came out I was with some friends who were also gay and in the Navy and they were talking about going to Washington DC for the holiday. I thought it odd that they wouldn't go home and their response was that this is what it was like to live in exile. Back then, as now, some families did not want their openly gay children at family gatherings or special occasions. Yes, it's hard to imagine and I assure you this still happens.

More common these days is that the gay family member will be "invited" to the big family gathering or special occasion but the partner or spouse is not welcome. Yes, in 2013, this conversation is being had at many kitchen tables and in many living rooms.

When my cousin Jennifer got married she made it very clear that me and my partner were invited. This was back in 1997 and it almost seems like a lifetime ago. Jennifer and I had grown up together, I love her very much and it didn't even come close to a thought that my partner would not be invited to her wedding. (Not to mention that gay people stereotypically give great wedding gifts!)

In the 23 years that I have been out there have been many times I did not want to attend a family gathering because of who might be there or what might be said in front of my partner and now husband. I have always understood that there will be people everywhere, in and out of family, that are not comfortable with me dating or being married to a man. Knowing this helps me in making decisions on whether or not I want my beloved to be treated poorly. This is more like self-imposed exile, and it is no fun.

 Mike and I have family members who decide not to visit us because they are afraid they won't be able to eat meat while visiting us. The practice in our home is that there is no violence allowed, including that of eating animals. It's really not that big of a deal as our neighbors are not vegan and there are a ton of places to eat around us that serve meat.

And then there is religion. Friends who are of different faiths in their parents eyes are not included in certain gatherings because one of them is not of the family faith.

And race. The list could go on and on. Whether we choose to not be a part of something or that choice is made for us, living in exile is no fun. What we can do about it is to show up at gatherings with love and openness and to accept nothing more than love and recognition for who we are or who our partner or spouse is. We can also make sure that through word and action we never allow friends or family to live in exile, whether it is self-imposed or not.

We want our friends and family to always feel love and support from us, to always know that they have a safe, loving place in our home.

To anyone reading this is is living in exile: You are not alone. We love you.

Thanks for reading.

A little respect

Before you get too excited, let me tell you that this post is not about one of my all-time favorite songs by Erasure. Sorry.

This post is about basic respect of each other, especially online

There are two words I don't need to read from a communication from someone. One is the "F" word as in "F___ you" and the other is the "F" word used to dehumanize, threaten or attack a gay male.

Don't get me wrong, I have been known to use the first one, especially like "What the ___". What I am writing about today is the use of offensive words, offensive to me, in communicating any type of message via the web. Especially if you have not personally met me.

Both of these words, when coming from someone I do not know, are violent.

Being an out, gay blog, I have gotten the latter of the words many times, usually in an email. I have gotten called that at protests and at hearings. It's a disgusting word, one that tells me right away what the person saying is like.

Yesterday I posted a tweet about liking what President Obama said in regards to gay people. As far as I know it was the first time this was done in an inauguration speech. I loved it. I am aware that many do not like President Obama, his person, his policies, his beliefs, and my tweet was about this one part of one speech.

Of the hundreds of comments, emails, and feedback items that I get, it's always the one or two negative ones that get to me. When someone responded telling me to get some "f___ dignity" I was honestly blown away.

Does everything I post have to sit well with you? We all know the answer to that, especially if you are reading this blog. My blog posts are all over the place and many times include topics that many disagree on.

Can we all simply respect each other online? Can we debate or discuss without throwing out offensive language?

And if we openly support a cause or a belief, what do actions like this do for our cause?

As you know I was recently laid off and I am in day 12 of my job search. I at first thought that the reaction I was having was due to being a little more sensitive these days. That lasted for a couple of seconds before I realized that I simply felt disrespected. From someone who does not know me. At all. A second person communicated with me a similar position about my tweet, and this person isn't even connected with me anywhere!

Respect. It can be so easy.

And please, unless you have read it on my blog or interact with me in my personal life, do not assume you know me. My husband has been with me for years and years and is still learning things about me.

Thank you for reading!

Vegan New Mexico

After being laid off last week I jumped into the job search. Having never been unemployed, I wasn't really sure what to expect. After settling in over the first couple of days I decided I could do a job search from anywhere. So Miguel, one of our furries, and I headed down to Albuquerque, New Mexico to visit our dear friend Tammy.

I have been traveling to New Mexico ever since I moved to Colorado 14 years ago. I love New Mexico. One thing that makes a place/area able to make it to my "love" list is having plenty of good vegan food. New Mexico does not disappoint. I knew that before this trip but during this trip Tammy turned me on to whole new vegan food experiences that you must check out if ever in The Land of Enchantment.

Our first night we went to the gym before heading to dinner. As much as I like to eat, remaining active and working out during a visit anywhere where I am going to try new places is important. The first night we went to Thai Vegan. There are two in Albuquerque and we went to the one on Central Avenue. Beautiful place, amazingly friendly staff, and a loving greeting by the owner. They have fake meats and a bunch of desserts. And, as you might guess from the name, everything is vegan. We tried several things, Tammy got a crazy-big salad with tofu and I got a chicken/spinach peanut sauce dish. We got a couple of appetizers too, of course. I loved this place.

The next morning I got early and headed to the Flying Star Cafe. Great place to work on a job search as this place is filled with folks working on their laptops and conversing. I loved it. And endless coffee. From a vegan food perspective there isn't a lot, but the tofu scramble is delish. It's not on the menu but you can order it.  Free wireless too so perfect for an unemployed vegan guy who is hungry for food and a job. I know that there are at least two locations, this one is on Central Avenue.

While working on my job search I had no idea that my life was about to change in a huge way. Tammy was taking me to Mint Tulip, an all vegan cafe right across from the University of New Mexico. Vegan shakes. That's all I have to say. Well, I could stop there but there is so much more to tell. The place is super cute. Owner and staff totally friendly. I ordered a peanut butter chocolate milkshake, Tammy got strawberry. We started our eating with chips and queso. We both got the grilled cheese sandwich. Oh my.

The next day we went back and I got the sausage and cheese biscuit. Well, two of them, with a shake of course.

Mint Tulip is a MUST stop if ever in Albuquerque.

The blissful trip continued the next day when Tammy took me to Ten Thousand Waves. Just outside of downtown Santa Fe, about an hour from Albuquerque. Mike and I had been before and I love it. A Japanese spa with hot tubs and hot springs. You can partake in as much or as little as you wish, depending on how much money you want to spend. I am content with the hot pool and sauna, reading in between soaks and sweats.

After a couple of luxurious hours at Ten Thousand Waves Tammy just had to take me to a new vegan place in Santa Fe, Momo and Co. We decided to swing by there, get a couple of vegan cupcakes for the road, and then go quickly back to Albuquerque to grab another meal at Mint Tulip. It didn't quite work out that way as Momo and Co. is not just a bakery. They have a bunch of delish vegan meal options, including waffles! Note: Almost everything is vegan, but double check.  Tammy ordered a cupcake and I inquired about the waffle. Yes, they could prepare it to go. Would I like butter with that? Oh my.

This photo is not of the waffle I fell in love with but a great example of the vegan creations Momo makes!

Note: As I become a better blogger I realize that when including friends/family in a post, you don't want to write a tell all. Suffice to say that one of the many reasons I love Tammy is that she loves to eat like me!

Tammy patiently waited while they worked on my waffle. I had a chance to talk with Momo, the owner, whom I truly love. After a few minutes we were set, and as Tammy drove us back to Albuquerque and to another meal at Mint Tulip I totally enjoyed my vegan waffle with vegan butter and berries. As much as  I loved the waffle, definitely try a cupcake or two as well.

There is much more to Albuquerque and Santa Fe and this blog post only covers what I experienced during this three-day trip. I urge you to explore the vastness that is New Mexico, knowing that in these two cities you can eat well for sure.



http://www.thaivegannm.com/

http://www.flyingstarcafe.com/

http://minttulipvegan.tumblr.com/

http://tenthousandwaves.com/

http://www.momoandcompany.com/