Powerful words

We all have been there. Someone says something to us and it stings. Perhaps that was their intent, perhaps not. In this age of online communication it's difficult to figure out what someone "really meant" sometimes.

In many more cases, we can communicate face to face with individuals and have a little more power in how our conversation is received. Facial expression, hand gestures, whether we are smiling or not.

I wanted to write about the power of the spoken world because of a few conversations Mike and I have involved in, particularly in the vegan part of our community. It surprises me still that people will be on the verge of meeting us and will attempt to sum our entire existence up in a matter of minutes. We should do this. Have we thought of this? Why spend so much time on that? It's actually amazing that more often we find ourselves meeting people who really don't want to get to know us, or actually converse, yet want to immediately tell us what they think we should be doing.

I'm not sure if this is because we have this blog, because of our blog name, or because we try to be so open. The god thing is that we are not going anywhere. We are firmly and confidently rooted in the vegan community. What concerns me is how people who are just getting to know us as a community feel.

Are we a welcoming community? Or are we a judgmental community? I like to think that we are welcoming, that after all we represent the voices of the millions who cannot speak. We are their voice. Especially for those of us who are vegan for the animals.

Our blog is about building bridges, being a voice for the voiceless and spreading the message of love, compassion and equality. Those messages can easily get diluted if we spend more time talking or writing about what you should be doing than how we can all work together.

It's not always easy. The other day Mike and I just sat while someone we had just met shared their opinion. She didn't even know us!

And then there are the instances where we and our readers (I know this because of what our readers share with us) receive the wrath of people who don't want to open their minds or hearts to why we are vegan and how we believe in not wanting to harm any sentient being.

As I recently wrote to a reader, "it's important to not cross the line from being a queer vegan to becoming a queer vegan asshole while responding to hateful or disrespectful words".

Our words are powerful. In the same time frame that I am writing about I saw someone that has completely judged me for being gay. I don't want to be their best friend but I can approach them with kindness and say hi. I did. They smiled and engaged in conversation with me. They know that their judgment of gay people is unacceptable to me and that is what matters to me.

My goal is to use my spoken words to spread love, compassion and tolerance. To open minds. To be that voice for all of those sentient beings that suffer. I definitely do not want my words to harm others.

Thank you for reading. I really appreciate those who read our blog, support our blog and engage with us!

A little respect

Before you get too excited, let me tell you that this post is not about one of my all-time favorite songs by Erasure. Sorry.

This post is about basic respect of each other, especially online

There are two words I don't need to read from a communication from someone. One is the "F" word as in "F___ you" and the other is the "F" word used to dehumanize, threaten or attack a gay male.

Don't get me wrong, I have been known to use the first one, especially like "What the ___". What I am writing about today is the use of offensive words, offensive to me, in communicating any type of message via the web. Especially if you have not personally met me.

Both of these words, when coming from someone I do not know, are violent.

Being an out, gay blog, I have gotten the latter of the words many times, usually in an email. I have gotten called that at protests and at hearings. It's a disgusting word, one that tells me right away what the person saying is like.

Yesterday I posted a tweet about liking what President Obama said in regards to gay people. As far as I know it was the first time this was done in an inauguration speech. I loved it. I am aware that many do not like President Obama, his person, his policies, his beliefs, and my tweet was about this one part of one speech.

Of the hundreds of comments, emails, and feedback items that I get, it's always the one or two negative ones that get to me. When someone responded telling me to get some "f___ dignity" I was honestly blown away.

Does everything I post have to sit well with you? We all know the answer to that, especially if you are reading this blog. My blog posts are all over the place and many times include topics that many disagree on.

Can we all simply respect each other online? Can we debate or discuss without throwing out offensive language?

And if we openly support a cause or a belief, what do actions like this do for our cause?

As you know I was recently laid off and I am in day 12 of my job search. I at first thought that the reaction I was having was due to being a little more sensitive these days. That lasted for a couple of seconds before I realized that I simply felt disrespected. From someone who does not know me. At all. A second person communicated with me a similar position about my tweet, and this person isn't even connected with me anywhere!

Respect. It can be so easy.

And please, unless you have read it on my blog or interact with me in my personal life, do not assume you know me. My husband has been with me for years and years and is still learning things about me.

Thank you for reading!