I lost a follower today

I lost a follower today. On Twitter.

It was because of a post I wrote in support of Syrian refugees.

When they said they were unfollowing me, and why, I simply responded that if they were connected with me here and had read my blog, that the comment I made would be no surprise.

I have been surprised about the huge amount of anti-refugee speak from people in this country. Even on my Facebook page. So I decided to post this:


I must say that I am surprised by how many people I am connected with here are part of the frenzy against Syrian refugees coming to the States. I get the fear part. If you know me, you won't be surprised that I would do anything I can for these people, my fellow human beings who have suffered so much. So much, in fact, that they have left their home and everything they own just to survive and hopefully create a safe place for them and their children. And for those of you who have made comments about supporting veterans before refugees, that is super pathetic. I can, and do, support both. And the homeless, and abused kids, and people living in poverty, animals being tortured and anyone who is treated like shit just because of who they are.

This world is a living hell for many people. Most reading this live in a privilege that those seeking basic humanity can't even dream of.


I know there are many who disagree, yet my blog has always been an honest reflection of who I am and my thoughts about pretty much everything. I have always welcomed debate and I have always listened to viewpoints contrary to mine. Dialogue. And, I have always been outspoken against the constant demonizing of many just because there is disagreement.

Thank you for reading this.

Marriage equality happens. Now what?

Ecstatic is an understatement.

Add emotional and a few other feelings and you have what I feel now and really felt last Friday upon getting the news about the US Supreme Court ruling in regards to marriage equality.

Mike and I were married ten years ago in a ceremony we called " a loving act of civil disobedience" as we married in our home state of Colorado where marriage was not legal. Last year we went to our favorite beach (Torrey Pines in San Diego) and were legally wed.

Watching couples in Michigan, Ohio, North Dakota and Georgia brought on a flood of tears.

Of course not everyone is happy with the decision. The unhappiness began on the Court itself with those who dissented.

From Republican Presidential candidates to pastors to folks who just don't like gay people (including the previously mentioned), I have heard it all.

Here's what I have to say to those who are demonizing gay people and continuing the spiritual genocide against us:

No gay couple would want to be married by an anti-gay religious person in an anti-gay place of worship. So please stop with the fearmongoring about being forced to wed gay couples. No thank you.

We will continue to fight against hate and bigotry. Some of us are seasoned after living through the HIV/AIDS epidemic and dealing with so much bigotry against those with HIV/AIDS and then the ridiculous fight to be equal under the law in regards to marriage. And now we have some free time.

Traditional marriage. From the Old Testament? Multiple wives? Marrying teenagers? What exactly is traditional marriage? Marriage these days determines benefits and rights amongst couples. It shows the highest form of a couple's commitment. That's why I chose to marry my husband. And although we had a religious ceremony, I would be fine with a civil marriage.

Some Christians have said some terrible things about marriage and about gay people. There are more divorced heterosexuals in the U.S. than there are gay people but the hate does not extend to them.

There is something powerful in kindness. There is something powerful in love. I will continue to fight for equality and against bigotry, prejudice and hate. I won't demonize those against me, but I will not remain silent either.

More to come on this topic.

I'd like to close by saying thank you to all of those who have expressed kindness to us. I am truly grateful. The U.S. Supreme Court decision was intense for us for many reasons. We are still smiling.

Thanks for reading.

Is your place of faith anti gay?

So many churches and other places of faith express that they "welcome all". Many have cool pastors or clergy or whoever leads them. They are friendly, loving and seem like awesome places to worship.

But many of them are anti gay. To be specific, they believe that gay people are going to hell. To be a little more specific, they believe that gay people who have sex are going to hell.

They might not talk about it. They might try to convince you that no matter what you believe, no matter how many gay friends and/or family members you have, that being in a sexual gay relationship means hell.

They say things like "we're not against something we are just for Jesus" and "it's really between the person and God". Yet invariably something negative will be said about gay people. My favorite is when these same people refer to our marriage as "so called gay marriage".

I acknowledge that this is a difficult topic for many, and that biblically speaking it is a topic with a lot of feelings and emotions.

I also believe that it is well past time for equality-loving folks to stop supporting anti-equality places of faith.

One of the most difficult things for me to experience in my life is watching people I love, and who I know love me, support places of faith that teach that I am going to hell.

I see this often. I am reminded by it all of the time by posts I see on Facebook. It's heartbreaking.

It's heartbreaking because I know these folks love me, and Mike. I know they support us 100%.

Financially supporting places of faith that denigrate gay people, in any way, is taking action against gay people, against equality.

Our church does not believe that we are going to hell. There is absolute love for us as a married couple. Those who preach at our church believe fundamentally that our love, our marriage, is not "sin".

This is a tough topic for both of us. We both have experienced hate and persecution from religious people.

Please don't support them. As with many things, we can vote with our dollars.

Thanks for reading. 

Why are The Gay Vegans following me?

I wanted to title this post "Why on earth are The Gay Vegans following me?" but that was a bit long of a title, especially for twitter.

I love building community. And I do a lot of that online. Our blog has accounts on Google+, Instagram, Tumblr, Facebook and Twitter. I use each one for different purposes, and I never blindly connect them all so the same post goes to all of them. I do use them to spread my blog posts, but I also use them to meet folks I'd like to know and to build community with folks who might not normally be in community with gay vegans.

Being 48 and wanting to be as healthy as possible, I like connecting with others who work out and are into fitness. When I see someone who says that they are vegan are into fitness too, I like to connect with them.

That doesn't always go over well. So I want to clear the air if you will.

If I connect with you through social media it is because that something you are doing either inspires me, I want more of it in my life, or it's something I want to learn more about.

It doesn't mean I am hitting on you for goodness sake! Or that I want to offend you in any way!

There are a bunch of folks out there who inspire me. They may be totally out about being a follower of Christ, or vegan, or raw, and I make the attempt to connect.

They are not always thrilled. Recently on twitter, a vegan guy wrote how he couldn't believe The Gay Vegans would connect with him. After all, he's Christian, and far right. We exchanged some tweets and after I saw other tweets where he wrote to others saying that he was just going to have fun with us I disconnected.

Seriously?

He is a vegan athlete, including being a runner, and of course I would want to be connected with him.
But I get it. There are just always going to be folks who for whatever reason do not want to be connected with gays and/or vegans.

Another guy, on Instagram, deleted my comment on a photo of his saying that he was inspiring me.

So...

If The Gay Vegans connect with you on any of the social media listed above and you do not want to be connected with us, please just tell me. I will disconnect and all will be well in the world. I honestly only wanted to build relationship and let you know that something you are doing inspires me or teaches me.

I hope this clears the air.

Thanks for reading.

Long live bloggers

I haven't been able to stop thinking about the murders in Paris this week.

A staff of journalists and cartoonists gathered for their weekly meeting. So many didn't leave the room.

And last year amazing, inspiring journalists murdered by the cowards of the Islamic State.

As I watched vigils across France and Europe, I was fascinated that so many people held up pens and pencils in honor of those killed.

As a blogger, I have always felt that we have the power to change the world. To report, to give opinions, to bring thought to conversations, to open eyes and hearts and minds.

I created The Gay Vegans blog to try to build bridges amongst communities and people, to try to be a voice for the voiceless, and to spread my thought that we all have more in common than not.

Blogs I read teach me amazing vegan recipes, about what is going on with equality or animal and human rights issues I am concerned with, about fitness and exercise, and the list goes on.

Around the world bloggers speak out against in justices, against human rights violations, against torture, against animal cruelty and pretty much any issue that affects them or that they are concerned with.

And some are sitting in jail.

Not all bloggers have it made like I do. Yes, I get the occasional hate mail from religious extremists and I write about that extremism often. But I do not have the fear that one day hooded folks will show up at my house and cart me off because I wrote something that offended them.

Thanks for reading!

Have you heard of Kate Kelly?

Until last month, Kate Kelly was a Mormon.

I just started learning about Kate Kelly when we were recently in Salt Lake City.  Mrs. Kelly is the founder of Ordain Women, a group of Mormon women seeking equality and priesthood.

In June she was excommunicated from the Mormon Church, a church led by men. Only men.

This post is not an anti-Mormon post. It is a post to let our readers know about this atrocity, an atrocity that is common in many religions where only men have real power.

I do not know Kate Kelly, yet she seems to be a woman of devout faith, devoted to her church, to Jesus and to God.

As far as I can tell, the only problem is that she thinks women should be able to be priests in the Mormon church, that they should be equal to the men of the church. Imagine that.

We live in the United States of America. Doesn't that mean that women can freely express their opinions when it comes to religion?

Hardly.

I am not Mormon. I do not know much about the Mormon church. The most I know about the Mormon church I learned during the Prop 8 vote in California, when the Mormon church poured millions of dollars into the campaign that would make gay marriage illegal.

The Mormon church can do whatever they want to their members.

Excommunication seems a bit harsh. Their spokeswoman (women can be spokespeople in the Mormon church) said that there are right ways to disagree with the church and that there are wrong ways.

I haven't read the official verdict from the church, the one that made the excommunication of Mrs. Kelly official.

What is said in it doesn't matter to me. I disagree with what they have done to Kate Kelly.

I think Kate Kelly is incredibly courageous. And faithful.

I imagine that those men in power at the Mormon church are frightened of people like Kate Kelly. Just as they are frightened of so many in their churches getting disgusted with the way the church has treated gays.

If you would like more information on Ordain Women, click here: http://ordainwomen.org/

Thanks for reading.

7 - 0 victory in Sterling Heights!

It happened around midnight in the City Council chambers in Sterling Heights, Michigan. The Council voted unanimously, 7 - 0, to pass an ordinance that will prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation or identity. The ordinance will "apply to all persons seeking employment or housing in the city, but specifically would extend civil rights protection based upon sexual orientation and identity."

I am ecstatic.

7 - 0.

I had the honor of speaking with Mayor Pro Tem Mike Taylor before the vote. With allies like him and others on the Council who spoke about equality and prejudice, I feel even more hopeful about the future for those of us who do not fit into the heterosexual norm than I did before.

Said Mayor Pro Tem Taylor in a prior vote that brought us to last night, "“For those of you concerned that your ability to practice religion is being taken away, that is not the case. We can argue and debate many things, but this is not one of them,” he said. “The First Amendment is your shield and it protects you and your ability to practice religion, but it is not a sword to be used to strike down your fellow citizens because they do not agree with you.”

I agree.

I most likely won't get to speak with all of those on the Sterling Heights City Council who voted last night so will pass this message along:

Thank you. Thank you for being a voice for the voiceless. Thank you for shining light onto bigotry in any form. Thank you for doing the right thing and acknowledging all of your citizens and those who want to be part of the greatness that is Sterling Heights. As one of your citizens said "Discrimination is real and it happens every day. It is subtle, it is rarely overt, and it is laws like this that are necessary to protect LGBT people…Freedom is for all of us not just some of us who fit into a preconceived norm. Sometimes freedom for all makes us uncomfortable, that is the challenge of freedom."

I have a huge smile on my face and even more hope in my heart. Sterling Heights is where I came of age. I lived there during elementary school and junior high school, the years that I began to realize that I was different. It is a very special place for me.

Based on the vote last night, the City Council also thinks so.

Thank you for reading.

Hating gays because of religion

He died this week. He spent much of his life spreading hate towards gays and lesbians. He became famous for colorful signs with big letters that read such nice things as "God hates fags" amongst other things.

If you don't believe in Jesus or heaven, his meaning to you might just be that he spoke out against gay people all of the time.

What I have always talked about in regards to this man and his band of people who traveled around the country with these signs is that what he is saying is no different than what many pastors say in the pulpit every Sunday.

No different.

Yet he got all of the attention. Maybe it was the colorful signs. Maybe "God hates fags" has a more offensive meaning than " if you are gay and have gay sex you are going to hell".

In churches, synagogues and mosques all over the country religious leaders condemn gay people. We are called sinners. We are called unnatural. We are called deviants. In some religious places we are called fags and faggots.

Regardless, there is no difference. The man who died this week said horrible things about gay people, and horrible things about anyone who came close to saying anything nice or supportive about gay people. The same things are said about us by other religious leaders.

So can we start calling them out too? Can we start telling them how awful the things they are saying are and how hurtful they can be.

If you believe in Jesus and you believe that what the Bible says regarding homosexuals means we are all going to hell, that's one thing. Vile hate or supporting laws that take away our freedom and liberty just doesn't work for me.

And please, do not hate in the name of Jesus. If you hate on gay people either with words or actions, please distance yourself from Jesus.

Mr. "God hates fags" has met his maker. In my belief system he sure has been surprised.

Thank you for reading.

The Boy Scouts of America and equality

Being an openly gay man who believes in equality and fights every day for it, I have never really cared for or about the Boy Scouts. I have friends whose kids are involved in the Boy Scouts, and on that local level I think it can be great. The policies I have a problem with come from the top, the leadership of the BSA.

In some ways, I look at them as simply as an extension of the bigoted and discriminatory thought process of the Catholic and Mormon churches.

Their policy against gay men having anything to with the Boy Scouts has been hurtful to some, devastating to many more.

Before I continue please remember that I was raised Catholic and loved it. A lot of my family members and friends are Catholic, and I still believe that the work Catholic priests and nuns did in Central America in the '70s and '80s in regards to human rights was incredibly brave and part of what convinced me to be an activist. And what strengthened my faith. Social justice and human rights are still at the core for some in the Catholic church.

Back to the Boy Scouts. You might have heard that they are considering changing their policies around gay men. I haven't read all of the press reports yet but what I have read isn't that promising. This chapter over here could be safe for an openly gay man but this chapter over there, well no thank you. After years of telling chapters across the country who they can or cannot allow in, they suddenly feel that telling chapters who they can allow in is wrong. Seriously?

Yes, seriously.

On the other gender side of this you have the Girl Scouts. No policy against openly lesbian women participating on any level and they are thriving. By the way, I need to buy some Girl Scout cookies! Mike just told me that there are two vegan options this year. Those of you who know a girl scout, send them my way!

Bigotry is ugly. It harms more people than we know, and on more levels than we can even comprehend. And the biggest problem that I have with it is that is is absolutely unnecessary.

Bigotry is unnecessary.

We don't have to like everything about a person to honor their humanness. To respect them. To realize that they have the right to exist and to live in a world free of hatred or violence, whatever form that violence takes.

The Boy Scouts of America still don't get it.

Thank you for reading.

Catholic bigotry from a Catholic perspective

I grew up Catholic and I have wonderful memories of my church, priests I knew, and activist Catholics who were my heroes. I was never one who has called myself a recovering Catholic, that just wasn't my experience.

I left the Catholic church when I came out. I remember clearly my last mass as a closeted gay man. I was on a ship (in the Navy), and after thoughtful prayer I walked away. The only time I have been back is to celebrate people getting married or who have passed, and the occasional time I go with my mom just to make her day.

In my office I have a poster, in Spanish, with all of the names of Catholic activists murdered in El Salvador in the 80's. I spent time in San Salvador going to places where the murders occurred and visiting the tomb of Bishop Oscar Romero, another Catholic hero of mine. There are many. As an activist I have learned a lot from social justice Catholics. Indeed, that's what I thought my church was all about until I came out: helping the poor, the sick, the imprisoned, the tortured, and those seeking justice.

Meanwhile, in Colorado, the Catholic hate against gays and lesbians is front page news. Outraged at being second-class citizens, groups have introduced yet another attempt to pass a civil unions bill. In Senate committee testimony, "members of Catholic Charities threatened to cut their services in the state if gay and lesbian couples were granted civil unions. That's right, they said they'd stop assisting the most vulnerable among us—including children waiting for foster or adoptive homes—if our families were protected under the law. The reality is that the Colorado Civil Union Act contains specific protections on religious freedom and ensures that no child placement agency will be forced to place a child with a couple in a civil union." (Taken from a press release from One Colorado)

This isn't a surprise as I believe they did the same thing in Illinois. I'm sure the Archbishop of Denver agrees with this stance, although I have a hard time finding Catholics (just basic, regular, church going Catholics) here who agree. And some Catholics around the country go gaga over Rick Santorum, who points to his Catholicism as reasoning for being anti-gay (amongst the many things he is anti towards). Even some animal rights activists can't help but drool over Rick Santorum as he is so animal friendly. There is no mention of his genocidal tone towards gay people when the drool flows. As if it doesn't matter.

It's time for these same Catholics to take a stand and say enough is enough. These same people have so much power, especially with their pocket books. Stop the spiritual war against gays and lesbians. Stop supporting religious hierarchies that have declared war on gays and lesbians.

Thank you for reading!

Lowe's and Muslims

We don't have cable, so I haven't seen this new show on TLC that is about Muslim families living in America (in Dearborn, MI). I would have never heard of it had I not read about Lowe's pulling their advertising for the show, some say because a religious right group in Florida complained about the advertising. Lowe's says they make decisions on advertising based on many things, not just the opinion of one group.

You might be thinking, why the heck do a couple of gay, vegan guys care about Muslims and Lowe's?

The Florida Family Association is the group that complained to Lowe's about the advertising. Hugely anti-gay, they certainly have a problem with Mike and I being married, amongst other things. These folks are popular for fighting "Gay Days" at Disney World and speaking out against anything that might even be close to being friendly towards the LGBTQ community.

I realize that Mike and I would not be warmly welcomed in many Muslim nations, and that I have spent a lot of time working to put a spotlight on people in these nations being executed for even being perceived to be gay.

Nonetheless, I don't know that these families in Dearborn wouldn't invite us to dinner, and I do know that I have had it with the spiritual genocide against gay people from religious fanatics, wherever they may live and whatever religion they might practice.

This puts a bad taste in my mouth regarding Lowe's. Perhaps they didn't make the decision solely based on what the FFA said, but from what I have read they haven't denounced what the FFA said either. And what is FFA's real complaint? Well, that the show on TLC doesn't expose Muslim people as Sharia law lovers whose only goal in life is to spread Islam. And that the show is just propaganda. The families couldn't possibly just want to live in peace, practice their religion, help their kids get a good education, and catch a football game when they can.

I would love your thoughts and feedback on this!

Thanks for reading!