Wednesday, June 26, 2013

When do I get to vote on your marriage?

I saw this on a sign at a pro-marriage equality rally a few years ago.

This was before the recent swing in voter-approved marriage equality bills across the country. The sign gave me pause. I loved the question.

With the US Supreme getting very close to announcing their decision (it will come today) marriage equality is once again in the headlines.

Millions of people across the country in a majority of states have gone to the polls and cast a vote against marriage equality. To them, marriage should only be between a man and a woman. These people, and those who bring legislation like this up for a vote, believe that their beliefs trump anyone else's beliefs no matter what.

When do I get to vote on their marriage? I'd be delighted to. Oh, this is your third marriage? Sorry, I vote no. Oh, you hit your wife? Sorry, I vote no? Oh, you don't believe the same way politically I do, on every level? Sorry, I vote no.

I have never wanted to use curse words or obscene words in a blog post. I get the closest when I think about or write about people who believe that their beliefs trump mine. I'm OK if you believe this way. Just don't even think of trying to force me or anyone else to believe that way.

Yet many people do. This is why Mike and I can get a civil union in Colorado instead of a marriage. Colorado voters approved a state constitutional ban on marriage equality. Yes, it's in our constitution. This is why so many were thrilled with civil unions becoming legal this year because the marriage battle has to start with getting something out of the constitution which is a huge deal.

People are still voting on my marriage. And tens of thousands like ours. Fortunately bigotry is losing these days. People went to the polls in Maryland and Maine and voted for marriage equality. In states like Minnesota, state legislators voted for marriage equality, even some Republican state legislators.

This is all wonderful news. And I still look forward to the day when nobody has the right or option to vote on my marriage.

Thank you for reading.


  1. I balled my eyes out (out of happiness) when I read the news this morning- what a pivotal and joyous moment in our history! I agree with you- bigotry is losing these days and I couldn't be happier! :-)

    1. Kristy! SO sweet! Me too! Yesterday was an emotional day. I am so looking forward to seeing you two!

  2. Amen to that! I'm with Kristy - I was so excited to hear the news. (Now we need to work on freeing animals from factory farms!) I found you both through a suggestion on Twitter and when I saw your photo I knew I had to come visit your webiste! You both look like such fun people!
    Dawn @ Florida Coastal Cooking

  3. Hi Dawn! So glad you found us!Mike's mom lives in Daytona Beach so we get to Florida every year or so. Unfortunately the battle isn't over, but at least in our most populated state folks can get married AND federally recognized. I look forward to getting to know you Dawn.