Our legal marriage Part II

Legally married!

Mike and I were legally married on February 14th at 4:31pm at Torrey Pines State Beach in San Diego.

Although we had already married in our church in 2005, and we both have said that this was just to make it legal, it was honestly one of the most amazing moments in my life.

The day before our ceremony we went to the San Diego County Clerk office to get our marriage license. In California you have to make an appointment for your license. We were both giddy. The clerk helping us was amazingly friendly, and there was a gay couple getting married by a judge. It couldn't have been any better. A world where two men getting a marriage license was no big deal.

Getting our marriage license!

The next day we were fortunate to be able to hang out with Lisa all day, and Jim took half a day off and joined us mid-day. We got dressed in our Hawaiian wedding shirts and off we went to the ocean.

A few minutes before the ceremony a thick fog rolled in and took a very sunny day and made it definitely not sunny. But it was gorgeous.

Just after the ceremony when we could see the sun again.

We gathered with our friends Jim and Lisa and their children as Jim prepared to marry us. I was

nervous. Ten years with Mike and nine years being married to him and I was nervous.

The ceremony was incredible. Jim was the perfect person to legally marry us and brought all of his love and compassion to the ceremony.

After a couple of poems and a couple of Bible passages read, Mike and I shared our vows.

I was in tears on and off. I was finally legally marrying the love of my life. My best friend. My good and perfect gift from God.

To all of you who have sent so much love our way, thank you! And thank you for reading this!

Our legal marriage

It is difficult at best to write about becoming legally married without getting tears in my eyes.

Tomorrow I will legally marry the love of my life. I call Mike my good and perfect gift from God.

With all of my brokenness as a human being, I have grown with Mike and because of Mike, have learned how to love on a level I never knew existed, have become more willing to let go and to truly care about another human being in a way I never knew was possible.

We were married in our church in front of friends and family in 2005. Tomorrow we will marry in front of a small group of friends at a place that is so special to us. And this time it will be legal, acknowledged by the state of California and the US government. It will be as legal as any heterosexual couple married in California the same day.

The support we have gotten has been incredible. Even from total strangers. The gals who gave us hair cuts yesterday were ecstatic that they were able to be a part of our day. I couldn't believe the happiness they exuded as we told him that we were both getting married on Friday, and yes, to each other.

The love from our friends and family and those who read our blog has been incredible.

As a 48 year old man who has been publicly out since he was 21, I admit I am a little jaded. Being gay has not always been a great conversation starter. Even today there are many who dislike and even hate gay people. They hide behind their holy book when in fact the truth is that they just do not want to live in a world where people like me and Mike exist.

I am tolerant of someones opinions that are contrary to mine when it comes to sexuality, equality and freedom. My tolerance ends when they believe that their beliefs should trump mine or quite honestly affect my life in any way.

Their hate is unfortunate. It is also unacceptable. As I become legally married, I will of course continue to always speak out against hate and intolerance.

If you would be so kind to do so, please think of us at 4:31pm Pacific Time as we legally marry. Send us your love, thoughts, prayers, meditations.

Thank you.

Legal marriage: February 14, 2014

I had always hoped the day would come when Mike and I would legally be married.

On April 30, 2005 we got married here in Denver at our church with 160 friends and family joining us. We called it a "loving act of civil disobedience" which in the eyes of the government of Colorado and the US government is what it was. To me it was the best day of my life, marrying the love of my life, my best friend, and committing to him all that I am, good and bad. It is a day that I think of every day and will think of for the rest of my life.

Last year, marriage equality became the law of the land in many more states as well as the reality regarding federal recognition for couples married in those states. Mike and I began to talk about getting legally married. While in San Diego this summer, we decided that that was where we wanted to marry, specifically at Torrey Pines State Beach on the cliffs overlooking the Pacific.

We chatted with our amazing friends Jim and Lisa about it (they live there) and after some planning decided on February 14th as the date, with our friend Jim doing the honors. Mike and I will drive to San Diego from Lakewood on the 12th, get our marriage license on the 13th (also my birthday) and then get legal on the 14th!

I am so excited!

Although it will only be Mike, myself, Jim, Lisa and their two children, we intend to invite family and friends to think of us, to join us with their loving thoughts, at the time of the service. We have had the big wedding and this will be a quiet, loving ceremony, one that will end with Jim signing our marriage license! Just thinking about it is bringing tears to my eyes!

Our marriage will not be recognized in Colorado. We can get a civil union here if we want. We haven't decided on that yet.

The day after we'll head to Los Angeles for a celebration dinner with some friends, and then home.

We haven't set the time yet, but when we do I'll let you know. We would love, and be honored, to have you thinking of us when this happens.

Thanks for reading. And thanks for your constant kindness, love and support!