Action of the week - reach out

I am still unemployed (today is day 21) and have been able to take "me" time during my job search. By the way, I did receive an offer letter yesterday and am hoping to take this job after looking into the benefits.

Yesterday I went to the Max Fund, a local shelter here that Mike and I support and where I have been volunteering for 12 years. We have fostered a bunch of dogs from here and last Saturday swung by to check about fostering Chico, a one-eyed Pekingese mix who is 8 years old and they believe would be better off right now in foster.

I had time yesterday after a lunch appointment to go visit with Chico again. He is pretty snappy and I wanted to see if he acted any differently on a slower day at the shelter. His only interest in my was to try to bite me, not in a way to harm me as he doesn't bite down, he just snaps.

While visiting with Chico a gentleman came into the shelter asking if he could pick up some food for his dogs. I am not sure of his situation except that he is experiencing difficult times and was asking for dog food as he could not afford it.

I wanted to tell him that I would buy all the dog food he needed until his times got better, but the Max Fund employee said to him that he would go check to see what they had. The employee came back in less than five minutes with a couple of bags of dog food. I was ecstatic.

If you are still thinking about Chico, more to come on him. I am going back today to bring him home as a foster. And you know that means a Chico blog post soon!

Do you know anyone like the gentleman who came in to Max Fund? Would you reach out to them with some dog food or treats, or a pound of coffee? Perhaps a care package with some treats? Mike and I are financially good right now but the gifts people have given since I lost my job did more than give us something nice, they filled us with love and gratitude. That's the perfect gift!

I have been unemployed for 21 days and have been blown away by the love and support I have received from friends, family, colleagues and people I don't even know. My hope is that all of us can do this, reaching out to those who might be in need. When the economy went downhill I clearly remember shelters I volunteer at getting more and more filled with dogs and cats from families who could no longer afford their care because of loss of a job or home. What can all of us to to support those who aren't quite there yet, but are struggling to care for their beloved companion animals?

Today when I go to the Max Fund going to donate dog and cat food for families struggling. I don't know what else to do but will ask them. I'm not sure how many animal shelters or homeless shelters have options to support those struggling, but I am sure there is something all of us can do.

Will you join us and reach out to those in need?

Thank you for reading!

The Boy Scouts of America and equality

Being an openly gay man who believes in equality and fights every day for it, I have never really cared for or about the Boy Scouts. I have friends whose kids are involved in the Boy Scouts, and on that local level I think it can be great. The policies I have a problem with come from the top, the leadership of the BSA.

In some ways, I look at them as simply as an extension of the bigoted and discriminatory thought process of the Catholic and Mormon churches.

Their policy against gay men having anything to with the Boy Scouts has been hurtful to some, devastating to many more.

Before I continue please remember that I was raised Catholic and loved it. A lot of my family members and friends are Catholic, and I still believe that the work Catholic priests and nuns did in Central America in the '70s and '80s in regards to human rights was incredibly brave and part of what convinced me to be an activist. And what strengthened my faith. Social justice and human rights are still at the core for some in the Catholic church.

Back to the Boy Scouts. You might have heard that they are considering changing their policies around gay men. I haven't read all of the press reports yet but what I have read isn't that promising. This chapter over here could be safe for an openly gay man but this chapter over there, well no thank you. After years of telling chapters across the country who they can or cannot allow in, they suddenly feel that telling chapters who they can allow in is wrong. Seriously?

Yes, seriously.

On the other gender side of this you have the Girl Scouts. No policy against openly lesbian women participating on any level and they are thriving. By the way, I need to buy some Girl Scout cookies! Mike just told me that there are two vegan options this year. Those of you who know a girl scout, send them my way!

Bigotry is ugly. It harms more people than we know, and on more levels than we can even comprehend. And the biggest problem that I have with it is that is is absolutely unnecessary.

Bigotry is unnecessary.

We don't have to like everything about a person to honor their humanness. To respect them. To realize that they have the right to exist and to live in a world free of hatred or violence, whatever form that violence takes.

The Boy Scouts of America still don't get it.

Thank you for reading.

I love Racquetball!

 Many years ago I used to play racquetball at the YMCA where I was a member back in Norfolk, VA. I loved the game. It was tough.

When I moved to Colorado 14 years ago I stopped playing. That was until a couple of months ago when a good friend of mine who also goes to my gym (the Wheat Ridge Rec Center) say yes to an invite to play. We have been playing every week since.

We typically can get three games in during our one hour court reserve time. This past Saturday he beat in me in all three games. The week before it was me beating him in all three games.

I love racquetball! It is a lot of fun and each time I place I feel like I get an intense workout. I can pretty much feel every part of my body because of all of the stretching I do during a game. I wouldn't say I'm a good player yet, but I sure do have a blast.

In other blog posts I have written about eating healthy, going to the gym and even about the time I tried a personal trainer. I as approach 47 years of age I am paying more and more attention to my health. Simply being vegan is not enough for me. The exercise part is crucial. That's where racquetball comes in.

Racquetball is part of my overall health plan, and it's a blast. At least for me. I wanted to share about my love for racquetball for two reasons:

I know many folks who try their best to eat well, as I do, and don't like to exercise. I wanted to offer a way to exercise that could be a lot of fun. And believe me, you will get your heart rate up!

The second reason is because (and remember that I am not a doctor or nutritionist or anything close to that) I think that eating well combined with exercising a few times of week is the best for me. I feel better not only physically but mentally. I have a great time with a good friend. And I am sure that it is good for my heart and other parts of my body.

Want to play with more than one person? No problem. You can play with two, three or four people!

So check it out! Not every gym has a racquetball court but it shouldn't be too time consuming to find one. Most gyms have a racquet and balls that you can borrow. Eye protection would be good too!

Let me know what you think if you try it!

Thanks for reading!

Living in exile

I used to think that only gay people had to deal with this based on my personal experiences. Of course that has never been true.

The Christmas before I came out I was with some friends who were also gay and in the Navy and they were talking about going to Washington DC for the holiday. I thought it odd that they wouldn't go home and their response was that this is what it was like to live in exile. Back then, as now, some families did not want their openly gay children at family gatherings or special occasions. Yes, it's hard to imagine and I assure you this still happens.

More common these days is that the gay family member will be "invited" to the big family gathering or special occasion but the partner or spouse is not welcome. Yes, in 2013, this conversation is being had at many kitchen tables and in many living rooms.

When my cousin Jennifer got married she made it very clear that me and my partner were invited. This was back in 1997 and it almost seems like a lifetime ago. Jennifer and I had grown up together, I love her very much and it didn't even come close to a thought that my partner would not be invited to her wedding. (Not to mention that gay people stereotypically give great wedding gifts!)

In the 23 years that I have been out there have been many times I did not want to attend a family gathering because of who might be there or what might be said in front of my partner and now husband. I have always understood that there will be people everywhere, in and out of family, that are not comfortable with me dating or being married to a man. Knowing this helps me in making decisions on whether or not I want my beloved to be treated poorly. This is more like self-imposed exile, and it is no fun.

 Mike and I have family members who decide not to visit us because they are afraid they won't be able to eat meat while visiting us. The practice in our home is that there is no violence allowed, including that of eating animals. It's really not that big of a deal as our neighbors are not vegan and there are a ton of places to eat around us that serve meat.

And then there is religion. Friends who are of different faiths in their parents eyes are not included in certain gatherings because one of them is not of the family faith.

And race. The list could go on and on. Whether we choose to not be a part of something or that choice is made for us, living in exile is no fun. What we can do about it is to show up at gatherings with love and openness and to accept nothing more than love and recognition for who we are or who our partner or spouse is. We can also make sure that through word and action we never allow friends or family to live in exile, whether it is self-imposed or not.

We want our friends and family to always feel love and support from us, to always know that they have a safe, loving place in our home.

To anyone reading this is is living in exile: You are not alone. We love you.

Thanks for reading.