Our 8th wedding anniversary

Mike and I at our family pre-wedding party two nights before the big day.

 
I wanted to let all of our readers and supporters of our blog know that today, April 30th, Mike and I are celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary. We were so fortunate to be married in a ceremony we called "a loving act of civil disobedience" with 160 friends and family joining us. I get tears in my eyes just thinking about it.

I am completely in love with Mike and every day am grateful that he is my husband and that we are a family.

A cool thing about this anniversary is that we will be celebrating with hundreds of gay and lesbian couples tonight as we count down the hours until civil unions become legal at midnight. We will be eating and dancing at One Colorado's party, then at midnight watch as couples go to city hall to get their civil union.

We have decided to wait to become civil unioned for a day when some of our family can join us.

Civil unions are not marriages. Yet for us in Colorado, they will be the first legal recognition of same-sex couples. The next step is to overturn the state constitutional ban against same-sex marriage and then, after that battle, fight for full marriage equality.

Meanwhile, Mike and I act as if we were legally married. We work at our marriage and remind each other how important he is. We both try to be a voice for the voiceless and we try to show love to all others.

One of the many reasons we love our blog and the community we have built with it is that we have gotten to meet so many amazing people, including other gay, vegan couples. We are SO grateful for all the kindness, love and support.

One day marriage equality will be a reality. Until that day, please stick with us to fight the good fight. It will be wonderful when we can finish this fight and put even more energy to the education around animal cruelty and animal rights and strengthen our voices for those killed, tortured and living in fear just to become dinner.

Thanks y'all!

With a huge amount of love,

Dan and Mike

Our honeymoon; back-country trip at Yellowstone National Park.

News from Colorado - gays, guns and pot

If you read the national headlines, news from Colorado in the past week can be summed up in two words: gays and guns.

This past week a civil unions bill, twenty years in the making, passed through our state house 39 - 25 and will be signed by our governor. Civil unions will be legal in Colorado starting May 1st. The anti-gay venom was alive and well in the debates, yet nothing new was said. The message of hate and prejudice never seems to change even if the faces of those expressing the message do. See my past blog post for more information civil unions in Colorado.

NOTE: Mike and I were married in our church on April 30, 2005. As huge of a deal as it was to us it is not recognized by our state or federal government. We will be in line on May 1st to get civil unioned.

Also this week, several gun laws were passed. I have been doing my best to keep up with them but even that effort hasn't been enough to have a good grip on what is going on. Gun rights activists are pissed off as you can see in any comments section for articles or postings about the bills that will most likely now become law. The bills include a 15-round magazine limit, having gun purchasers pay for their background check and one around universal background checks (adding private sales to when a background check is required).

I have read a lot around these. Those supporting the measures believe that they will make Colorado safer while those opposing them believe that the government is infringing on their 2nd Amendment rights and that the bills will do nothing to make the public safer.

As in some other heated topics, people who disagree with each other say unfortunate things. It's pathetic that we as communities cannot debate ideas without personally slamming someone or in some cases even threatening violence.

One thing I really liked from the gun debate (and many probably hated, especially those working in the state capitol) was that on the day that the state senate was debating gun bills, folks opposed to the bills kept a continuous flow of drivers circling the capitol and honking their horns. I thought that was great activism. I wanted to even stand on a corner there and hold a sign that said "honk for gay marriage!".

Also in the headlines here is news about medical marijuana and a new amendment (64) that was passed by voters in November making it legal to be carrying a small amount of marijuana. It's fascinating to watch how this affects people. I read today that our governor has said that while meeting with potential business folks who may consider moving to Colorado their biggest concern is marijuana. I believe him when he says this and I the same time I am thinking "seriously?".

Regarding animals, nothing has really come to the legislature regarding protection, welfare or cruelty. I did see one bill about vet care of ill farmed animals which did not pass (animal groups were opposed to it).

Meanwhile in Colorado spring is here and we have had some beautiful weather. I don't think I can take the sand bags out of the bed of my truck quite yet but winter is definitely coming to an end.

Politics is fascinating. Less than two months left in our state legislative session and I wonder if it is going to get any more exciting. Regardless of people's opinions, I am excited to see so many people get involved politically and make their voices heard.

Thanks for reading!

Thank you! One step forward with civil unions

I wanted to jump, scream and shout all at once.

But I couldn't. No one could. To the legislators voting for or against a step towards equality it was business. There was another bill to vote on right after. So the Speaker of the House politely asked everyone in the chamber to be quiet.

All of the emotion hit me as I walked back to work. This is not marriage. It was still a step for us, a pretty big step. And walking out of a building where one year ago I cried as bigotry won out once again, I cried as I thought of the love of my life and the fact that a civil union would do just fine for now. For now.

And bigotry lost today. It lost big time. I don't think for a second that there are not still bigots out there. I just think that the tide is turning.

The purpose of this blog post is to thank all of you who voiced your opinion during this many year process. Thank you for taking the time to speak out for Mike and I and the thousands of other gay and lesbian couples in Colorado. Thanks for the call and thanks for the email. Thanks for proving my point that in the end, love will always prevail over hate.

I have heard a lot of bs over the years in regards to anything around equality for gay people. This year during the debate for civil unions was not different. It's hard to take anyone seriously, let alone religious extremists, who slam a bill for not having religious exemptions when the same bill they slammed last year did have exemptions. Blows my mind. And they have the frickin' nerve to talk about freedom!

If you have read my blog or know anything about me you know that for me this is just a step. I want nothing short of full marriage equality. I'm not going to stop until that day. I hope all of you will continue this journey with Mike and I, as your support means so much.

We are so incredibly grateful for all of you. We totally are.

The Governor will sign this bill later in the week. On May 1st civil unions will begin. The day before that is our 8th wedding anniversary so it looks like that weekend will be busy for us!

Sending love to all of you.

Thank you for reading!

Health care in the news

I am sure some of our readers are not political geeks like I am. I am also sure that the recent news of President Obama's health care law being deemed constitutional by the US Supreme Court might have some of you smiling or frowning.

The right wingers are having fun saying anything negative they can about this plan. Mitt Romney promises a full repeal if he is elected. This has become the most fun animal-free circus I have ever seen. And it's a huge bummer.

Mike and I have both always had health care. We are both in a position now where our employers pay 100% of our health care, and dental. We are totally fortunate, and grateful. I do not know what it is like to not have health care.

Not everyone has what we have. I don't know the number, but I am sure I can say that millions of US citizens do not have health care.

I applaud anyone who tries to fix a problem. I know President Obama had personal experiences around health care, that his mom was uninsured.

I do not know enough about the current health care plan just deemed constitutional but am stoked that people tried to fix a system that is definitely broken. I have read about many people who will be helped, some already have. I have read many good things about this plan. I have also read about the cost as well as fears that small businesses have in being required to offer health care.

Meanwhile, those who already have never liked President Obama have more ammunition and with their millions of dollars there is no doubt in my mind that we will be hearing and seeing their venom all over the place.

And hopefully a child will not lack for insurance because she had pre-existing conditions. And hopefully a recently graduated college student trying so hard to find a job can relax a bit knowing they will be covered by their parent's health insurance for a little longer. And so on.

I looked around for info on what the health care reform law looks like and this was one of the best sites I could find: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_care_reform_in_the_United_States

As this debate around health care continues, I hope that cool heads prevail and serious problems can be tackled. Demonizing each other will get us nowhere.

Thanks for reading!

Still no civil unions in Colorado

Some of this post might be repetition of the previous civil unions post. After being at the Colorado capitol last night for the committee vote, I felt that I should update our readers about the process.

The governor called a special session and civil unions was one of several bills to be heard during this session. Even though the bill had passed through three other committees, the Republican Speaker of the House sent it to yet another committee, apparently to be killed.

After one hour of pro testimony and one hour of anti testimony, Rep Mark Ferrandino gave a passionate plea to pass this so the whole house could vote. By the way, it would have passed if it had reached the whole house.

Listening to an hour of anti-gay banter was not easy. Every person opposed to the bill spoke in the name of Jesus. One even said that if Rep Ferrandino married a woman (he is in a relationship with his male partner), that he could also have the same benefits as straight, married couples. Another thing I heard quoted from "a study" is that men who are married to women work harder. I chuckled at this.

The vote was 5-4 killing the bill. Even a Republican house member who said he has a gay son voted no. So it happened just as the republican leadership had planned it to happen.

I realize that not all of our blog readers care about this, and I truly have appreciated the support around our fight with civil unions. I want everyone who reads our blog to know that this can be a huge lesson learned for ALL activists, whether your main fight is for veganism, animal rights, human rights, the environment, homelessness, etc., everyone should have a personal relationship with the man or woman who represents them in their state house.

We all must use our voice.

If you would like to know who represents you in your state house, this website can tell you: http://votesmart.org/

Using our voice can make a HUGE difference.

Today is a new day and the anger that hit nerves for me yesterday while listening to the anti-gay banter has invigorated me (not that I really needed that) to work harder so that Democrats win the state house in November. We only need one seat. Then civil unions can get a fair hearing. The Republican leadership proved that will not happen on their watch.

Thanks for reading. If you are in the position to donate a few bucks to a group that really rocked it in Colorado for civil unions, go here: http://www.one-colorado.org/

No civil unions in Colorado

I am writing today heartbroken with what I witnessed at the Colorado capitol last night as the civil unions bill died because the leadership in our state house would not bring it to the floor for a vote.

I write today even more reminded that I am a second-class citizen.

I write today in firm knowledge that the social conservatives in Colorado have a power that wreaks of inequality, bigotry, and injustice.

If you follow us on Facebook or twitter you got a lot of information last night. I tried to pass along information as I got it, or as I understood it. I was very fortunate to have been invited on the house floor by my state rep Sue Schafer and equally grateful to my upcoming state rep Max Tyler (because of district changes) for keeping me posted on how he felt things were going.

This civil unions bill was not perfect. It was not full marriage equality. That will only come when the Defense of Marriage Act is overturned on a federal level, and even then it will mean a lot of work. Yet it was a step. And if it had been allowed a vote on the house floor, it would of passed. At least six republican reps said they would vote yes.

I must admit that it was hopeful to see people in the gallery area shouting "shame on you" to Republican lawmakers when it was clear that no vote would be allowed. A mostly passive community might ignite. I certainly hope so.

For those who want what happened with civil unions to ignite action a couple of things need to happen:

People have got to know who represents them at the state level and get to know them. Make sure they know you are for equality. Both in the state house and state senate. If you don't know you can go to http://votesmart.org/

If you live in a state house district where the Democrat is in a safe seat, volunteer for and donate to a campaign in a district that is a challenge. I am thinking more of Colorado with this idea as I believe the only way the house will vote on this is if the leadership is Democratic.

It is vital that we gay and lesbian folks constantly remind our friends, family, and co-workers that we are second-class citizens. I spoke with several people over the past week who were shocked that Mike and I did not have the same rights as they did with their spouse.

Donate to One Colorado http://www.one-colorado.org/ They are definitely our voice at the state capitol and I watched their staff ROCK IT. Even a small donation goes  along way.

Today is the last day for our state legislature in Colorado. They will not reconvene until January of next year unless a special session is called (which I have no idea will happen or not).

Thanks for reading. And thank you for your support!

When do I get to vote on your marriage?

This afternoon at 1:30pm at the Colorado state capitol the House Judiciary Committee will vote as to whether or not the current civil unions bill will be allowed to go to a vote from the entire state house, a vote that would most likely ensure a victory for those who support civil unions for gay folks.

Last year the committee voted down the measure so it never had a chance to be voted on by all House members. All Republicans on the committee voted no and all the Democrats on the committee voted yes.

Perhaps the same thing will happen this year even though many Republicans around the state have come out in support of civil unions.

Mike and I are married and aren't really interested in a civil union. Since our marriage is constitutionally banned in the state of Colorado this is totally a step in the right direction. But only a step.

The comments around gay marriage, marriage equality, and civil unions are pretty similar, especially in the silliness category. Of course if this didn't affect my marriage I would most likely feel the silliness rather than the outrage I feel. Examples are:

Save marriage. I love this one. From whom? Gay folk? Seriously? Why not ban hetero divorce?

Why spend so much time on this and not on helping animals? I love this one. Typically the activist is married. As if I can't do both!

I can't think of two men having sex. Then don't. And don't mess with our rights.

You are an abomination and you need to seek Jesus. This could be a blog topic for weeks. I disagree with this and definitely believe that Jesus loves gay people. And to be clear, that Jesus loves gay people who have sex.

You are a faggot. I love this one too. When one does not have a clue what else to say or any idea why I shouldn't have equal rights in marriage, this is always a great way to show their dissatisfaction.

You weren't born that way; it's unnatural. Lady Gaga says I was, and I also believe that. Plus, when did you decide you were straight?

And so on.

I'll be paying attention to what happens today. And next Tuesday when people in North Carolina vote to add a gay marriage ban to their state's constitution. I'm sure there will be more to come.

Thanks for reading. If you believe in marriage equality please let your elected folks know.

Catholic bigotry from a Catholic perspective

I grew up Catholic and I have wonderful memories of my church, priests I knew, and activist Catholics who were my heroes. I was never one who has called myself a recovering Catholic, that just wasn't my experience.

I left the Catholic church when I came out. I remember clearly my last mass as a closeted gay man. I was on a ship (in the Navy), and after thoughtful prayer I walked away. The only time I have been back is to celebrate people getting married or who have passed, and the occasional time I go with my mom just to make her day.

In my office I have a poster, in Spanish, with all of the names of Catholic activists murdered in El Salvador in the 80's. I spent time in San Salvador going to places where the murders occurred and visiting the tomb of Bishop Oscar Romero, another Catholic hero of mine. There are many. As an activist I have learned a lot from social justice Catholics. Indeed, that's what I thought my church was all about until I came out: helping the poor, the sick, the imprisoned, the tortured, and those seeking justice.

Meanwhile, in Colorado, the Catholic hate against gays and lesbians is front page news. Outraged at being second-class citizens, groups have introduced yet another attempt to pass a civil unions bill. In Senate committee testimony, "members of Catholic Charities threatened to cut their services in the state if gay and lesbian couples were granted civil unions. That's right, they said they'd stop assisting the most vulnerable among us—including children waiting for foster or adoptive homes—if our families were protected under the law. The reality is that the Colorado Civil Union Act contains specific protections on religious freedom and ensures that no child placement agency will be forced to place a child with a couple in a civil union." (Taken from a press release from One Colorado)

This isn't a surprise as I believe they did the same thing in Illinois. I'm sure the Archbishop of Denver agrees with this stance, although I have a hard time finding Catholics (just basic, regular, church going Catholics) here who agree. And some Catholics around the country go gaga over Rick Santorum, who points to his Catholicism as reasoning for being anti-gay (amongst the many things he is anti towards). Even some animal rights activists can't help but drool over Rick Santorum as he is so animal friendly. There is no mention of his genocidal tone towards gay people when the drool flows. As if it doesn't matter.

It's time for these same Catholics to take a stand and say enough is enough. These same people have so much power, especially with their pocket books. Stop the spiritual war against gays and lesbians. Stop supporting religious hierarchies that have declared war on gays and lesbians.

Thank you for reading!