Saturday, November 23, 2013

Hate comes to The Gay Vegans

When you have a blog called The Gay Vegans you have to expect that not everyone is going to dig you. I get it all of the time. The gay part, the vegan part, the not vegan enough part, the smack from folks in different communities who just don't agree with something I have written about.

I'm used to all of that. And in many cases have had great conversations with people who I disagree with.

This morning I woke up to a nice serving of hate on our Facebook page. This is the stuff I don't like. As you know, we're in the middle of a two week dog and cat food drive for Animal Haus so we (us and our readers) can support those who are having tough financial times and need a little help with food for their companion animal.

I decided to use Facebook ads for the first time and had great success. The Gay Vegans blog was introduced to many people and we got donations from people we had never met.

Apparently our ad ended up on someones page who does not like gay people. He decided to post on our blog's Facebook page: "Keep your fag SHIT to yourself". He wrote more, in  acouple of places on our page, but no need to go into that. I was stunned. I mean we all have to look at Facebook ads that we wish we didn't have to. This dude took it to another level.

I was suddenly facing a reality that I had honestly forgotten about. We have a ton of readers and we get so much love, respect and kindness form them. We also get disagreement. But we don't get a lot of hate. Every once in a while we do, and it takes me aback.

I went to this gentleman's Facebook page and his first post was a photo that said something about hoping to be able to bless someone today.

I hope he's able to do that too.

Hate is a terrible thing. I write about it often. Only we have the power to stop it.

Thank you to all of you who have supported this blog. And more thanks to all of our readers who have donated to the dog and cat food drive!

And remember that you do not need to live in Denver to support the drive. You can make an online donation to Animal Haus at animalhaus.org . No donation is too small!

Thanks for reading!

30 comments:

  1. Ugh, I'm sorry to hear that you receive those kinds of hate comments. That kind of stuff is very bothersome. I really admire the approach you have taken in response to this, and you guys are doing awesome work!

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  2. I admire how respectfully done your post is, in response to this blatant aggressiveness and hate. My first thought, after reading what you state was one of his posts about blessing someone, was "WHAT AN EFFING HYPOCRITE". I love that you're able to comment on the sad reality that this is what comes along with being open about yourself and your values in a way that is constructive and, honestly, evolved.

    This guy is still an effing hypocrite, but I'm glad you still have so much support in your life to outweigh that nastiness. Sending you SO MUCH LOVE, it makes my heart want to explode! <3 Actually tearing up a bit!

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    1. Katie! Thank you so much. I am grateful, and am sending you loads of love back.

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  3. So sorry to hear that you on receiving end of such a hateful comment. I hope you don't let it get you down. (Although I know that is tough.) You're doing wonderful work and you're well loved in the vegan community. <3

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  4. Bigots are gonna bigot, that's an unfortunate fact.

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    1. Yes they are Mauro. Sending you two lots of love. I am so grateful I know you.

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  5. I am so pleased you took out the ad, otherwise I would not have known of you. I am so sorry that hate exists, and exists over so many things that are both choices and things that are not -- especially the things that are not. I'm glad to know of the blog, glad to know you are here, and in my hometown,no less! And I am grateful that you are doing the work you are. Love and support to you guys!

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    1. Karin! Thanks so much! We look forward to getting to know you.

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  6. So sorry to hear that. What is it about the internet that some people feel they can talk to someone like that?

    Also, thanks for the facebook ad tip, I think I'll try that, maybe it could help me get a wider audience too.

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    1. Thank you! I was pleasantly surprised by the results of the FB promotion and will definitely use it again when we do another fundraiser.

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  7. Always hard to see people acting like idiots, but I admire your reasoned response. Keep on caring for each other and all the creatures we share the planet with.

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  8. You all are doing great work. Bravo for taking the higher road in this situation. The unfortunate part is, someone like this man truly thinks he is righteous in his words and actions; hopefully he will one day see the hypocrisy. Thanks for being out there. Proud to be... Gay & Vegan.

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  9. It's such a shame that even in 2013, there are still people out there who feel that homophobic prejudice and abuse are acceptable or appropriate. I love your blog and wish you all the best of luck for your food drive

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  10. Thank you!. I am so glad you love the blog!

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  11. I love your blog - please do not let the haters dissuade you! You are a beautiful couple and stand for all that is positive in the world. Love!

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  12. It breaks my heart that there are still people who feel the need to spread hate. I'm sorry you had to deal with that, especially when you are doing such an amazing thing for companion animals. You handled it with such grace, not sure I would have been able to do the same. Keep up the great works!

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  13. I was just facilitating a discussion with middle school and high school students this morning about prejudice, stereotypes and "-isms." We talked about how many of them are based in fear. The kids disagreed that homophobia was fear-based, but I said that I felt like it was. People who are homophobic have been socialized to believe that gay people are evil and sinful. Mature, compassionate responses like yours may help to break down barriers over time, if people like the man who verbally assaulted you stop to realize that you could have chosen a different response, but didn't. Veganism often causes fear-based reactions in people, too. They believe that our very existence is somehow an attack on their choices. All of us have the most to gain by responding compassionately to those who hate us (as long as we are doing what we need to do to stay safe). Thanks for setting a good example and spreading love and compassion, not more hate.

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    1. Hey, Sheri - Of course homophobia is fear-based. It's either love or fear, and homophobia is certainly not love! Bless you in your work!

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  14. Sorry to hear about your recent experience with the haters. My partner of 12 years and I have a vegetarian podcast (Vegetarian Zen) and we haven't experienced that yet but we have braced ourselves for the inevitable. While our main focus is on vegetarianism, we don't hide the fact that we are a couple so no doubt, we'll get some hate flung our way eventually but we won't let that a few bad people stop us from delivering our message and glad you haven't either. Keep up the great work!

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  15. Big hugs for both of you. I know you know this, but I will state that this is about the hater's problems, not about you. He is afraid and miserable and without support. You guys are strong and good and surrounded by much support. Thanks for all you do. You are helping the world to evolve. Love, Renee

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  16. I just found your site through Twitter and it's kind of sad to read this post first. We're gay, we're vegan, and even though we're quite far away from where you live, we're with you.

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  17. Dan, I met you at Vida Vegan Con, and you were one of the kindest, friendliest and most charming people there. Definitely memorable. You are a fantastic role model that any mom, vegan or straight or gay person could be truly proud to call a friend. Keep doing exactly what it is that you do. Your kindness and love will be the best defense. So sorry to hear that anything ugly was said about you and your husband. You deserve nothing but love! Sarah @Bentoriffic

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