Tuesday, January 22, 2013

A little respect

Before you get too excited, let me tell you that this post is not about one of my all-time favorite songs by Erasure. Sorry.

This post is about basic respect of each other, especially online

There are two words I don't need to read from a communication from someone. One is the "F" word as in "F___ you" and the other is the "F" word used to dehumanize, threaten or attack a gay male.

Don't get me wrong, I have been known to use the first one, especially like "What the ___". What I am writing about today is the use of offensive words, offensive to me, in communicating any type of message via the web. Especially if you have not personally met me.

Both of these words, when coming from someone I do not know, are violent.

Being an out, gay blog, I have gotten the latter of the words many times, usually in an email. I have gotten called that at protests and at hearings. It's a disgusting word, one that tells me right away what the person saying is like.

Yesterday I posted a tweet about liking what President Obama said in regards to gay people. As far as I know it was the first time this was done in an inauguration speech. I loved it. I am aware that many do not like President Obama, his person, his policies, his beliefs, and my tweet was about this one part of one speech.

Of the hundreds of comments, emails, and feedback items that I get, it's always the one or two negative ones that get to me. When someone responded telling me to get some "f___ dignity" I was honestly blown away.

Does everything I post have to sit well with you? We all know the answer to that, especially if you are reading this blog. My blog posts are all over the place and many times include topics that many disagree on.

Can we all simply respect each other online? Can we debate or discuss without throwing out offensive language?

And if we openly support a cause or a belief, what do actions like this do for our cause?

As you know I was recently laid off and I am in day 12 of my job search. I at first thought that the reaction I was having was due to being a little more sensitive these days. That lasted for a couple of seconds before I realized that I simply felt disrespected. From someone who does not know me. At all. A second person communicated with me a similar position about my tweet, and this person isn't even connected with me anywhere!

Respect. It can be so easy.

And please, unless you have read it on my blog or interact with me in my personal life, do not assume you know me. My husband has been with me for years and years and is still learning things about me.

Thank you for reading!


  1. I am very sorry that someone said that to you. I am saddened that this still exists in our world.
    Respect should really be the minimum of what we give each other, it has nothing to do with agreeing or liking. If we could give one another simply respect, society would drastically shift.

  2. I have to agree. I understand that everyone is not going to agree with all my opinions and normally I welcome discussion. You never know when you'll learn something, right? I just hate... and I see it so much on FB... when people "scream" their position using strong language or sarcasm. For my the exchange stops there. And you're right, says more about what the person is like.

    I'm sorry you have to get that sort of feedback. I'm sorry when anyone of us is treated with disrespect.

    1. Thanks Patti. And I agree, learning opportunities can be just around the corner!

  3. May have been that their brain was two sizes too small.