Today I got pissed off

I have been vegan for 18 years. I have been out of the closet (openly gay) since 1990for 24 years.

So I am used to dealing with folks who are openly and verbally judgmental towards vegans/veganism and gays/sexual minorities.

Being used to it, many times I just shrug it off. Sometimes I engage in a kind way, especially when it comes to legal marriage or what the Bible says about married gay men living in the 21st century who want to have sex. Or when someone asks "do they really hurt the animals?"

And seldom does this negativity get to me.

Until the other day.

When talking about leaving some vegan food aside for a future day, someone I do not know said "well you definitely don't need to worry about me touching it!" They just said it, not directed to me, but as a public announcement.

Inside I became enraged. Like, WTF. Like, was that really necessary?

The rage stayed inside me for hours. It was tough to let go.

I did, finally.

I do not want to be angry, or carry anger. I don't understand why people judge or shame or ridicule. I don't like it. So the easiest thing for me is to not become those people.

After all, I can't change people. I can only control me.

I like being kind and loving. And I like being vegan and gay.

Thanks for reading.

7 - 0 victory in Sterling Heights!

It happened around midnight in the City Council chambers in Sterling Heights, Michigan. The Council voted unanimously, 7 - 0, to pass an ordinance that will prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation or identity. The ordinance will "apply to all persons seeking employment or housing in the city, but specifically would extend civil rights protection based upon sexual orientation and identity."

I am ecstatic.

7 - 0.

I had the honor of speaking with Mayor Pro Tem Mike Taylor before the vote. With allies like him and others on the Council who spoke about equality and prejudice, I feel even more hopeful about the future for those of us who do not fit into the heterosexual norm than I did before.

Said Mayor Pro Tem Taylor in a prior vote that brought us to last night, "“For those of you concerned that your ability to practice religion is being taken away, that is not the case. We can argue and debate many things, but this is not one of them,” he said. “The First Amendment is your shield and it protects you and your ability to practice religion, but it is not a sword to be used to strike down your fellow citizens because they do not agree with you.”

I agree.

I most likely won't get to speak with all of those on the Sterling Heights City Council who voted last night so will pass this message along:

Thank you. Thank you for being a voice for the voiceless. Thank you for shining light onto bigotry in any form. Thank you for doing the right thing and acknowledging all of your citizens and those who want to be part of the greatness that is Sterling Heights. As one of your citizens said "Discrimination is real and it happens every day. It is subtle, it is rarely overt, and it is laws like this that are necessary to protect LGBT people…Freedom is for all of us not just some of us who fit into a preconceived norm. Sometimes freedom for all makes us uncomfortable, that is the challenge of freedom."

I have a huge smile on my face and even more hope in my heart. Sterling Heights is where I came of age. I lived there during elementary school and junior high school, the years that I began to realize that I was different. It is a very special place for me.

Based on the vote last night, the City Council also thinks so.

Thank you for reading.

That's so gay. Really?

Last weekend Mike and I went to our local mall, Colorado Mills, to walk around and go check out the sale at Borders bookstore. On our way out of the mall three teens were getting into one of their parents cars and called one of his friends a fag.

It's not the first time I have heard this word in public. Typically I introduce myself to someone when I hear them use that word. This time I let it go, I didn't feel like I had a chance to say anything as before I knew it they were all in the car.

The word "fag" is a vile word to me. When I hear it, my defenses go up. There is no use for this word except to express ones disgust for gay men. The word is demeaning and dehumanizing in the highest senses of the word.

As we were pulling out of the parking lot I started thinking about another word/phrase people use in regards to gay people and thought of "that's so gay". I'm sure you've heard it. Many people use it to describe something odd, weird, or messed up.

Odd, weird, or messed up.

Many times when someone says this in my company their immediate reaction is to say, "you know what I mean, it's no offense".

Odd, weird, or messed up.

How about this? If you think something is odd, weird, or messed up, why not say it's odd, weird, or messed up. When you say that something is gay in this reference, it kind of sends the message that being gay is odd, weird, or messed up.

And I'll admit, I can be a sensitive person, especially when it comes to things like this. But this has nothing to do with me being sensitive, it's just plain wrong to use words like this. It's offensive.

So the next time you hear something like this, why not ask "what do you mean by that?".

And the next time you hear the word fag, letting the person who said the word know that the word is vile might be a great effort in education and promoting tolerance. Believe me, it's not easy to bring something up, and I am definitely not suggesting that you put yourself in harms way. If the person who said the word is someone you feel can be approached, let them know.

As always, thank you for reading my blog. I am beyond grateful for the support I've gotten with the blog. I would love your feedback.