Mexico

Mexico
Protesting in Mexico City against the murder of 43 students.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

The beginning of the end

No, this post is not about the Mayan calendar. I hope you will still read it!

It starts with Tina Turner.

It was November of 1985 and the day had finally come when I would get to see her live in concert. She was performing at the Hampton Coliseum in Hampton, VA, not far from where I was stationed. I decided that I was not going to miss her.

I was fortunate to have a car, although the reality at this point in my life was that having a car was not necessarily a good thing.

In October I had purchased a Chevy Citation. I loved it. I promised to never drink and drive. For someone who was in the end days of his active alcoholism, that was a promise that could simply not be kept.

Just the week before I had hit a car (parked) in the parking lot of a bar I was headed to. I was already drunk. As soon as I hit the car a police office opened my car door and grabbed my keys. It was dark and rainy I told him. It wasn't raining.

So the night I get to see Tina Turner began the same way as every other night did. By the time I got to my seat in the coliseum I was drunk. I could not remember how I got there.

I do remember Tina. She was amazing. Her voice, her running around stage and her saxophone player. He was gorgeous.

I remember her every November. And I remember how awful life had become. There would be many more drunk driving episodes before the end would come. And the desperation to stay drunk so I would not have to feel anything only got stronger. Consumed with self hatred and fear, alcohol was my saving grace.

Although alcoholism kills many, including many in the LGBT community and activist communities, the end for me would not be death.

I decided to write some blog posts about alcoholism and my path into recovery as I continue to see alcoholism destroy people in my communities. I will write more about this, including about how I began recovery from alcoholism on December 30, 1985.

Thank you for reading.

12 comments:

  1. This is a really powerful post. Thank you so much for sharing. I'll share it on social media.

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    1. Thank you. I finally decided it was time. More to come! XO

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  2. there are many with similar addictions, hope they soon see the way, as you did, with success - you are brave to put this out there and open for discussion - also very brave for you to take the right steps - compassion for you my friend

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  3. Thank you for being brave enough to share your amazing and powerful story! I have been sober for 5 years now and life just gets better and better!

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    1. Awesome! Thank you for the kind words and for sharing your sobriety with me!

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  4. I look forward to the future posts. Thanks for sharing this.

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  5. Thanks for your honesty and for sharing. I grew up in an alcoholic family and am forever changed by the disease. I know it's a difficult recovery, but by posting, you are helping so many more people than you realize.

    And it's freezing here in Philly today so seeing a photo of you in a tank top, eating vegan ice cream in Chicago, is making me even chillier ;)

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  6. Thanks so much for sharing! We were in Chicago this summer and went to the Diner three times! LOVE their milkshakes!

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  7. Thank you for sharing that, Dan. I'm so glad you're in such a better place now!

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  8. Dan the disease of addiction seems to touch the lives of so many. I believe it's always helpful to share our experience. Thank you for being willing to do so. I'm gratefully living a new life and love each moment. With almost 2 years of being clean and sober, I'm always amazed at what some of us live through to finally get here! That is, if we live long enough to make it. XOXOOX

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