Thursday, September 20, 2012

I am in love with my husband

This seems like an intense statement. It's one I say almost every day, and as I posted on Facebook yesterday, my love for him is especially strong these days for whatever reason.

Mike and I met at our church about ten years ago. I had always thought he was handsome, and because he was partnered at the time I was very respectful of his relationship, only saying hi to them as a couple. Unfortunately, as in many relationships, gay and straight, Mike and his partner had become more like room mates than partners.

We had our first date, and our first kiss, on January 7th 2004.

The next month, as a gift to me for Valentine's Day, Mike became vegetarian while on a trip to New Mexico. That same trip, we found our dog Miguel on the side of the highway. I immediately stopped and went to try to catch him, and Mike was fully supportive. Through the mud and cold and snow I tried to catch Miguel. It took 45 minutes. He was only 8 weeks old. Mike was right there with me. I knew then that he was the one. (Miguel came home with us and is now 8 years old!)

A couple of months later, on his birthday, Mike went vegan. Not as a gift to me, but as a gift to himself and the animals.

In August I asked him to marry me. We went to a gay-friendly park (yes, it's unfortunate but true that we need to think about these things) and I got on a knee and proposed to him. I brought some vegan chocolate cake to sweeten the deal.

We got married on April 30, 2005. I call our wedding day the best day of my life. We were married in the same church where we met, surrounded by 160 friends and family. Since our marriage ceremony would not be legal, we called it a "loving act of civil disobedience". It was truly a beautiful ceremony, and the days surrounding our wedding were filled with the love and support of family and friends.

My beautiful husband.

Many times I tell folks that I have a charmed life. Indeed I do. And I try to act that way every day: grateful, loving, kind, happy. I have even had people tell me that there is no way I could be as happy as I seem. I think to myself, silly you, have you met my husband?

Our marriage is a real marriage. By that I mean that we don't always agree on everything and that every day is not always perfect. The really cool thing is that we know what to do when potentially negative things occur, and we both know to remember that we are incredibly in love with each other.

One day we, as a gay married couple, will have equal rights. Today we do not. Sure, we can have special paperwork and extra legal documents and extra agreements to ensure our relationship stands firm for always, yet none of that is equal to a heterosexual couple and their marriage benefits.

Marriage equality hurts no one. No one.

I know many of our readers are activists of some sort. I know most of you work to make this world a better place for all living beings. Please keep marriage equality in mind when you vote this November. Your vote could affect our marriage. Actually, it will affect our marriage regardless of who you vote for (or if you choose not to vote). It just depends on if it will support our marriage or work to attack our marriage.

Thank you so much for reading!


  1. Dan, so happy to read that you are so happy! Everyone should be so lucky as to feel blessed and fortunate to have found that perfect partner. I happen to be one of the lucky ones! While the fate of my marriage wont' be decided at the polls, you can be sure that I will be there voting to support the happiness of you and all those lucky enough to find love!

    All my best,

  2. Aw, Dan, I'm all goose-pimply now. That is the sweetest thing to read! I know you're lucky, but so is Mike. And what a wonderful thing to read about.

    How anyone could try to stand in the way of that is so totally beyond me. Yours is a beautiful testament to marriage.

  3. Dan, this is such a beautiful post. It really made me smile and a bit teary. I am so happy for you both.

    I love your blog. I am going to keep checking back :)

  4. So much love here, for the people, animals and the earth. ♥

  5. I have tears in my eyes. <3 Such a beautiful story.