Time to stop the hate

This blog post comes from my personal experience within several communities that Mike and I are a part of.

It's time to stop the hate.

Bullying on any level is wrong.

I am not going to say your behavior is OK.

Stop the verbal violence against each other.

Stop the character assasination.

Look in the mirror. The person you are being is not the person we know you are.

I wish this issue was rare. The more I listen to others I realize it isn't. A family member doesn't talk with you. Someone thinks you are not vegan enough. That person makes too much money. So and so told me that he told her that you said something bad about me. I hate that person so you must hate them too. Did you know he did THAT?!?!

It's the whole focus on the family deal. You are OK with me as long as you act just as I want you to act, believe just as I want you to believe, and don't you dare think otherwise.

I have been on the receiving line of all of this. It's not fun. It's hurtful.

So why do we do it? I have no clue. My daily goal is to make the world a better place for all living beings. And to love. Being part of any of the crap that I just wrote out has no place in my life and does nothing towards ending suffering in the world.

There is so much hate in the world.

Only we can stop it.

I can disagree with you but I will not hate you. I will set boundaries as to what behavior is OK and what behavior is not OK, but I will not hate you. If our disagreement is so strong that we should not be in relationship, as sad as that is then so be it. My love is stronger than any hate out there.

Thanks for reading. I am truly grateful. My email address is vegandude@msn.com if you would like to communicate with me without posting a comment.

The Gay Vegans and Chick-fil-A

 

Many of you know that Dan usually writes these blogs.  With all of the recent news about Chick-fil-A I wanted to relate a personal story.  

Look at some of the companies and groups that Chick-fil-A financially supports.

One of the groups is Exodus International who’s mission statement says “Mobilizing the body of Christ to minister grace and truth to a world impacted by homosexuality”.  On their site they say they do not support bullying, reparative therapy, or anything like that.  This is not true.  Though they don’t specifically offer reparative therapy they quickly get people into programs of reparative therapy.  These therapies can range from counseling to more intensive things like exorcisms, electro shock therapy, brain washing, etc.  It really depends on the people who are running a particular chapter of the group. 

So where is my personal connection you may ask?  In my first year of college I got involved with a Christian group on campus.  The other students in the group were amazing.  I really enjoyed being with these people and will forever be grateful for them.  Yet in the process of being involved with this group I got involved with people from Exodus International along with other Ex-Gay groups.  These people led me to believe that being gay was not what God intended for me.  I was very confused coming from a religious background that did not accept homosexuality.  I had finally started to accept who I am until these people came along.  They quickly got me involved in reparative therapy sessions.  My sessions included long hours with groups (that I had to pay for; thousands of dollars wasted) telling me that my being gay was a result of things that happened to me and I had a choice not to be gay.  There was laying of hands, exorcisms in the group, and though it never happened to me, some individuals experienced electro shock therapy.  The sessions were very much in a bullying style intended to brainwash us into believing we were not supposed to be gay. 

This did not help.  I had homosexual attractions ever since I can remember.  Going back to when I was five.  I do not remember a time when I did not find a man more desirable than a woman.  That means that all those things they said made me gay happened after I knew I was gay.  All the group did for me was make me hate myself more, go into more secretive and destructive behavior, and not want to exist. 

Through the grace of God I moved states and came to Colorado after college.  I eventually found people who supported me, and a church that supported me for who I am and not what they thought I should be.  It has been a long road and is still a journey I take with my loving and supportive husband.

Why do I share this story?  To let you know of just a touch of atrocities that companies like Chick-fil-A commit on non-human animals but on their fellow humans as well.  Don’t shop blindly and vote with your dollars blindly.  Before you buy your next meal out, a car, or even your groceries look at what you are supporting.  Ask the tough questions of what their policies are and whom they give to.  Ask for documentation, especially if you are buying something big.  I know I roll my eyes at my husband when he does this but love him even more for doing it.  Do you want to be a part of something that is destructive and hurtful?  Or do you want to be a part of something that brings love and compassion to the world?

I leave you with something from the Bible which relates to animal cruelty. The owners at Chick-fil-A don't bring up this part. Their entire chain supports animal cruelty, which is against biblical principle:  “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it.  They will be yours for good.  And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds  of the air and the creatures that move on the ground-everything that has the breath of life in it- I give every green plant for food”  Genesis 1:29-30.  Read on for yourself He never in the perfect world told us to eat animals, in fact he tells us to rule over them and we know a good ruler will not kill and eat his subjects.  It was only after the fall that humans started eating animals.

As Dan always says, thanks for reading. We both are so grateful for all of the support we get from our readers!

Nonviolent action against discrimination

If you are connected to me on Facebook, Twittter, or Pinterest you know that I recently found out about a bakery in my own town told a gay couple this past week that they would not make them a wedding cake.

My first thought was that this could not possibly be true. Don't get me wrong, I am not ignorant to the reality of the world. But in Lakewood, CO.

Within a half hour my friend Drew Wilson (Mile High Gay Guy) spoke with the owner of Master Piece Bakery who confirmed that that would not be serving the gay community.

I was stunned.

I did not want to react with anger, hostility or violence, in my actions or in my words. So I went to my world of social media and I got busy.

First to Yelp. Dozens of people had already posted comments and reviews. I wanted to post something on Yelp for the same reason I am writing this blog: so people who support equality and are against bigotry and discrimination in any form will know not to shop at this bakery.

I then got onto Twitter and Facebook and asked those connected with me there to spread the word.  And boy did they.

As all of this was happening I began to write about nonviolence. For this guy to not want to do business with the gay community, well, that's his right. I doubt I can change his mind. (He has not stated why. His only comment was "use your imagination". What I can do is make sure that we, this amazing community of people who will not accept bigotry and discrimination, will not financially support his business. I will keep telling people about this and keep asking them not to shop there.

And I will ask them to speak out against this in a nonviolent way. No threats of violence, no curse-laden phone calls. Simply saying "I heard about your decision on not making a wedding cake for a gay couple, I'm sickened by that, and I will not shop with you" is just fine.

We can stand our ground and fight the good fight without becoming people we do not want to be.

Now I am hungry for cake. Good, vegan cake. I wish Beet Box would deliver to me right now!

Thanks for reading and thank you for your support. My email is vegandude@msn.com is you would like to email me. If you would like to read Drew's blog about his trip to meet the owner of Master Piece Bakery, click here: http://www.milehighgayguy.com/2012/07/masterpiece-cakeshop-serving-up-cakes.html

No gay boy scouts or chicken

Two bigoted restatements in one week. I am not surprised, even though I thought the first one would be different.

The powers that be at The Boy Scouts of America, mainly Mormon and Catholic white men, decided after two years of thinking about it that they will continue to ban gay people in any role within their organization.  I have tried to pay attention to this story a lot and didn't know how active the Mormon church is within the BSA.

Such a sad statement for an organization that teaches young people.

I was thrilled to read today's Denver Post editorial which agreed with me. My favorite part of their opinion was this: "But having the right to bar gays and actually doing it are two different things. The right does credit to our freedom, but the ban reflects a dated intolerance. If the group truly wants to return to its roots, it should reconsider and lift the ban."

Read more: Editorial: Badge of dishonor for the Boy Scouts - The Denver Post http://www.denverpost.com/opinion/ci_21104788/editorial-badge-dishonor-boy-scouts#ixzz216R9N83v

And as soon as this news digested, the head of Chik-Fil-A, a chicken fast food place that I guess is popular, made it clear that he does not support gay marriage. His statement is backed up by the over $5 million his company has spent supporting anti-gay groups.

"We are very much supportive of the family - the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that," President Dan Cathy is quoted as saying. (from CNN)

Of course we're vegan, so I wouldn't step near one of those places anyway. Now gay people, and anyone who supports equality, have another reason not to go to Chik-Fil-A.

I also want to share what Mike, my husband, posted on his Facebook page about this:

Do you eat at Chik-Fil-A? If so look at what you are supporting. For those of you that don't know when you get to who they support Exodus International is a group that does Reparative therapy (making someone who was born gay deny who they are and become "straight". It doesn't work I can tell you from first hand experience). I was involved with this group in college. Not something I would want anyone else to go through. Please do not support their barbaric and hateful practices by eating at this place.

I'm curious as to how many folks will choose not to go to Chik-Fil-A because of this. And then I started thinking of a bigger picture. How many people who are in the meat industry support equality for gay people, like marriage equality. In driving around ranch country in eastern Colorado, it's rare to see signs promoting gay friendly candidates.

I could go on and on. I could even delve into the issue of why communities who are attacked financially support their attackers. But don't worry. I'll save that for another post!

Thank you very much for reading my blog!